As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind – every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder John Glenn When the white missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said Let us pray. We closed our eyes. When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land Desmond Tutu America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked David Letterman Im not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. God dammit, Im a billionaire Howard Hughes After the game, both the King and the pawn go into the same box Italian proverb The only reason they say Women and children first is to test the strength of the lifeboats Jean Kerr Ive been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage Zsa Zsa Gabor You know youre a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesnt Jeff Foxworthy When a man opens a car door for his wife, its either a new car or a new wife Prince Philip A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing Emo Philips Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself Harrison Ford The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree Spike Milligan Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke Robin Hall Kill one man and youre a murderer, kill a million and youre a conqueror Jean Rostand Having more money doesnt make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but Im just as happy as when I had only 40 million Arnold Schwarzenegger. We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea WH Auden If life were fair Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead Johnny Carson I dont believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and were very sceptical Arthur C Clarke Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap Steve Martin Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is Jimmy Durante America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric Doug Hamwell The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone George Roberts If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport Jonathan Winters I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it Robert Benchley
Posted on: Tue, 29 Oct 2013 09:24:24 +0000
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