As chaotic and hectic as life gets, as hard, as scary, as confusing, as painful or as boring and disappointing even, when I hit my rock bottom, I keep finding the same things down there--I find that I cant stop laughing or seeing the bright side, I find a foundation built upon the absolute unconditional love my mother and even my cranky father have always shown me, I find siblings that have always been there for one another and have never held onto anger, I find friends that I can drink with, be an ass with, cry with, and love, I find animals that think Im awesome even when Im yelling at them, and I find this damn annoying part of myself that just refuses to give up because of all that, even though I sometimes wish I could. I get to the bottom and realize, that I believe in myself, and I have confidence and self love, and damn it while not everyone may agree, I kind of think Im awesome more often than Im not. Its annoying as all hell sometimes, when I would much rather just soak in a stinking pile of self pity, but after about a day of it, the reality of how happy I am, how grateful I am, and how much I have in my life which I can never lose, just sort of soaks in and pulls me out of every funk. You may win some and you may lose some, and those situations will always be difficult, but there are just so many things you cant ever lose, even when the people who once provided them in the flesh may be gone or far away. Life has already been so good, disease cant cripple it, loss cant ruin it, sadness cant permeate it, and fear cant stop it. It almost doesnt matter which direction it goes, because once you realize that you are happy in your core, that light just sort of never goes out, no matter how dark the surroundings may get. So, yadda yadda yadda, saccharine emotional nattering aside--I hope everyone can stop in the midst of falling apart and find even a glimmer of any of those things to help keep them afloat~
Posted on: Mon, 11 Nov 2013 19:26:53 +0000
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