As long as there is gender based income inequality and the hetero normative nuclear family is viewed as the only legitimate form of partnership by the mainstream I will always respect a man who takes responsibility for evening up the economic imbalances in our society in his own relationships. White women make 80 cents on the dollar for every dollar a man makes with the same experience and training. Women of color make even less on average even when all other factors are accounted for. I hear different justifications for all kinds of viewpoints on the economic aspects of relationships. Some seem to be based on misogyny of the worst kind (all women have a price), others on pain and trying to punish others (making men pay for everything without being a supportive partner because of past hurts) and others are based on selfishness (stingy asses who want to get whatever benefits they can but call us gold diggers for wanting stability). Only a few are based on reality and reason. We still have less economic freedom and opportunity if we choose to have families whether we are partnered or single. Even if there is more access to income from sharing expenses and pooling resources then we are dependent on anothers values and actions to maintain the relationship and can end up having to start over with nothing if we dont have active decision making roles and legal protections in relationships or we enter into prenups designed to leave us where we started from if it doesnt work out and our partner is more successful. Were blessed to have reasonable kings who understand my viewpoint and who are committed to being a blended family. We do things differently and cooperate with my daughters dad to promote abundance amongst all of us so we can share it with others. Most people are in a poverty mindset when it comes to love also. I hear both men and women saying theres no good partners left. I think it contributes to the competition and value judgements among women that perpetuate patriarchal ideals too. Strong women who expect equality, or accommodations to balance inequality are still very much a threat even tho the status quo has changed since these values reflected what was more common in the past. If you men are ready to go half on everything or want us to be in charge then lets change the laws, the economic structure that is so biased against single parent and other families that dont fit into the nuclear family paradigm and the tax and probate laws that only give the rights and privileges that automatically come with marriage to some. Until then... man up. If you want to be the boss or head of the family show us youre capable of it.
Posted on: Fri, 31 Jan 2014 12:34:00 +0000