As part of a get-to-know-you exercise, I was to say something about where I grew up. Ive probably already mentioned this to you, but if not, the story of where I grew up: I grew up in New Zealand, which geologically broke from the continental mainland late in the Paleozoic Era. Later on, in the Mesozoic Era, mammals were invented. But New Zealand had already high-tailed it out into the ocean by then, so the birds found that only they (and some crusty old dinosaurs) knew about it, and they kept it as their Secret Hideout. Time passed. Back on the mainland, mammals got pretty awesome. Back in the Secret Hideout, no-one was reading the news, so when mammals eventually built their own islands and rode them across the ocean to come visit, no-one in the Secret Hideout was prepared. As it happens, I am a mammal. Growing up in a place unprepared for mammals was great. It means you’re special. Walk into the wild wilderness and rainforests, about the only thing there that has adapted any ability to harm you is your own stupidity (which technically is something you had to bring in there with you). You pretty much have to find yourself a cliff, then decide to jump off it. Even then you’ll probably land in some soft moss. If you try hard enough, you might be able to twist an ankle on a tree root. Coming to the USA is an ongoing shock. I can go into the wild, but flashing the mammal-card just… does nothing. I don’t get ANY of my mammal privileges as is my birthright! “Mammal here, yo! Back off, we’re the Untouchables!” I say, and the mountain lion says “Mammal? That’s a word for lunch, right?”, and the rabies says “No silly, it means free housing and transport for all my grandchildren’s grandchildren!” and the snake says “Pretty sure they’re the stompy things that can’t handle a single bite!” and the tick says “No dude, the lion is right – it means free lunch before hibernation!” and the bear says “Yup – free lunch before hibernation, but if you’re clever, you can get some of them to bring you new free lunches every day!” and the scorpion says “Whichever it is, they can’t take me without a fight” and the spider says “Whatev’s Scorp, I can take both ya’ll”, and the poison oak says “Haha, mammals! I love those things! I gives them hugs!” I think most of you who grew up here probably had extra brothers and sisters that you don’t remember because only you - the survivors - remain.
Posted on: Tue, 19 Nov 2013 19:33:55 +0000
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