Auntology or Uncleology...the study of being a good aunt or uncle?!! Its an important subject - because I believe the aunt/uncle--nephew/niece relationship is one of the most precious in our lives. Some of us realise this and work on them; some of us take it for granted and ruin it for ourselves. I choose to be in the former category. I want my nephews and nieces to know that I value being their Aunt! Some tips I remind myself of: 1. The kids will be different persons at different age groups. Dont expect your 40 year old nephew to behave like when he was 7. Grow along with them, and understand the natural changes expected to be in his personality. Dont put pressure on him to behave the same way always. 2. Cherish the time they give you. Celebrate every visit. And NEVER CRIB that they havent visited you for a long time. The more I crib as an aunt, the less I will see of my nephews and nieces - this is a thumb rule! 3. Try and engage with things they are interested in. Stop confining yourselves to petty-family-politics conversations only. You will be surprised by the range of subjects your nephews and nieces can discuss with you! 4.Dont expect them to be grateful for anything you did for them when they were kids - they dont remember. Treat them with respect and dignity NOW - and they will reciprocate in equal measure. 5. Dont demand to be treated in a certain way - the youngsters dont like to feel obligated or curtailed by ceremony. Dump the tantrum-throwing and the fussing. Be a cheerful person.. one pleasant to be around with. 6. Be even more friendly and good to their spouses, than you are to them. Remember, the less the spouse likes you, the lesser you see your nephews and nieces. 7. Never crib about a gift they bring you. Whether you like it or not, go ooh-aah over it! And never compare gifts from different nephews and nieces. Remember they are at different stages of their evolution, and can afford different things at different ages, have different financial problems and have different ideas of gifting. Never ever insult their gifts. 8. Call them on their birthdays and their spouses birthdays. Maintain your diary on this. 9. Never get them involved in old family battles. Dont expect them to take sides against their parents, or against other aunts and uncles. 10.Above all, never let them think that they are any less precious to you than your own children are. Remember each person has 4 sets of aunts/uncles - from his/her mothers side, from his/her fathers side, from his/her spouses mothers side and from his/her spouses fathers side. Thats a lot of aunts and uncles to choose from. Id like to be one of those picked up from the crowd for the nephew/niece to want a special relationship with!! I better, therefore, behave like a good aunt!!!
Posted on: Sat, 30 Aug 2014 08:07:39 +0000
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