Autism Day - Our Story I have an 11 year old son named Jake whom I love very much. He has always been special...smart, sensitive, really super shy, totally amazing. He is an awesome kid, but always a little on the quirky side. Im kind of an odd duck myself, so it was always accepted as just Jake being Jake. Despite being very shy, Jake was doing well at school. His grades were great and the teachers had no concerns. His problems at home seemed to be isolated at home, and I attributed it to different things within the family dynamic. Things continued to be difficult at home, but I was going through cancer and you expect a child to react. Uncle Phil passed away, my parents split up, Rick got hurt, Kari moved away to college, and Jake had more difficulties. Again, this kid has been through so much, how can you not expect him to have a hard time? We tried counseling. Jake hated it. The ladies treated him like a little kid, and they wanted him by himself where he didnt feel safe. He wanted me to be there, and he didnt want to play stupid games. We gave up. He was still doing fine at school, so obviously it was something in our house that we needed to figure out. In the meantime, I had learned a little bit about special needs from my college classes and independent reading. I was starting to put the pieces together that Jake was struggling with more than we knew. Things came to a head at the beginning of this school year. Jakes difficulties were more than he could deal with and he quite literally quit school. I couldnt get him to go...couldnt threaten or bribe or reason. He couldnt handle it. We talked to our doctor and found a new counselor who then referred us to a psychiatrist. We filled out surveys and answered questions, and we both smiled and lit up at the questions we were being asked because finally SOMEONE UNDERSTOOD! As of right now, Jake is on the autism spectrum as well as having inattentive ADHD, ODD oppositional defiant disorder, anxiety, and depression. Hes taken various medicines that usually dont do what they are supposed to do because his brain isnt wired the way that a typical brain is wired. Were starting another counselor soon and have hope that this one will be more helpful. We are struggling through 5th grade in an online school that has been extremely understanding of Jakes difficulties but hasnt done much to help us overcome them. I think we both kind of feel like were on an island by ourselves sometimes. Nobody gets it, and thats what I think needs to change. What makes Jake autistic? Not necessarily the same things that make another person autistic. Jake is very shy and hates crowds. He cant stand the way clothes feel on his skin and just wears basketball shorts at home. Putting clothes on hurts. Showers hurt. Hugs give him the heebie jeebies. Food has weird tastes and textures. Sometimes it is hard for him to understand what people mean...are they being serious, or sarcastic, or just joking around? He thinks people might be mad at him when they arent, or doesnt understand why they do get mad at him. He is really really really interested in one or two things at a time, but thats it. Right now it is basketball, Grand Theft Auto (which I absolutely hate), and Minecraft. Having to pay attention to something he isnt really really interested in is almost impossible, and getting interrupted when hes really involved in one of his things really upsets him. It scares him when things change. He doesnt like being told to do things he doesnt want to do. He feels sad sometimes, and has anxiety. Its easier to stay home than to deal with the way clothes feel and things smell and how loud noises are and alllll the people, but then he also feels lonely and isolated. Hes very smart (many people with autism are average intelligence or above) but he feels stupid because a lot of our world just doesnt make a lot of sense. He gets mad easy because he often feels overwhelmed by everything going on around him. He feels misunderstood. He is misunderstood. Jake is on the high-functioning side of the autism spectrum. There are a lot of kids that get diagnosed around this age because it is a time of transition. Middle school, more independence, more responsibility. Although they have the intelligence to be 11, then dont have the social and emotional maturity they need to cope with the changes. You probably know some kids struggling with the same issues that havent been diagnosed. Im sharing our story with Jakes permission, not just to help people understand him, but to help all the other kids be understood as well.
Posted on: Wed, 02 Apr 2014 18:42:45 +0000
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