“BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL MAN THERE IS A WOMAN” – A PARADOX. The axiom, “behind every successful man there is a woman”, is a universal cajole that has kept very many great men of worth and inestimable substance in our generation into perpetual feminism bondage and ignominious captivity. Unfortunately, the older generations of men consistently remained pitifully engrossed in this axiom so much that the younger generations took it as a norm, became brainwashed and toed the path of foolishness. The less privileged folks became more naive and inferior in any social gathering with little or no reputations, while the few opportunists amongst women had their names unproven arrogated with credits as man’s source of success. Though this axiom may be as old as the modern world, it is high time we jettisoned it for man to have his rightful status in the spheres of creations. However, I will continue to refute this axiom so long as it keeps out-playing in man’s generations. In other words, with due respects to all women – the erudite and the ignorant, my late mum inclusive, I would rather put this erroneous believe in a more acceptable concepts and proper order; ‘behind every failed man there was a woman’. This sounds rather absurd but point-blank, I wished I could stop at this point for friends and foes to make comments, but it would be more blundering and colossal misleading than mere believing the long archaic axiom. Nevertheless, it is necessary that I make the basis of my argument clearer. How do I mean? If this axiom is hinged on the platform of necessity that someone must unavoidably be behind someone irrespective of success or failure, so be it, then I will rest my case. But if on a shred logic of “behind every successful man there is a woman”, then it will be highly contentious. Therefore, to get cracking on this issue, it is instructive that I start by tinkering from the very beginning – the Garden of Eden. From genesis chapter 1, to chapter 2 are detailed account of how Almighty God hatched plans on his desires to create the first man – Adam on the surface of the earth. The Garden of Eden was also planted and given to him as a custodian, to dress and dwell in it. In chapter 2 verse 16, God gave Adam specific instructions on the rules governing the garden, which he strictly adhered to in absolute and prompt obedience. At this point, it is obvious that our man Adam was well established and successful without any woman behind him. In verses 22-25, God made the first woman – Eve and gave her to Adam as a helpmate on reasons of loneliness, which he (Adam) is still expected to put up a defense of innocence in that arrangement. The question, did Eve influenced Adam to success? No! Instead, through her, temptations came to Adam and by extension, to all men, which proceeded the fall of man, hitherto judgment and death. Irked by this fallout, I want to move an unconditional motion that this old axiom be reversed and ceased to be used henceforth to introduce women with reference to the success of their wealthy husbands. But can we re-coin this axiom since it has become one of a must compliments in our ceremonies? I will think over it. BEHIND EVERY FAILED MAN THERE WAS A WOMAN The biblical Rebecca, Isaac’s wife plotted the fall of Esau her first son, hence, he sold his birthright and ruined his life until eternity. Sarah, Abraham’s wife lured him into sin of immorality with her maid Hagar, she gave birth to Ishmael whose descendants constitutes terror and torn in the flesh of inhabitants of the earth. Elijah the great and renowned prophet of Almighty God that wrought great and spectacular miracles in his days, had to flee for his life and even desired to die because he was threatened by Jezebel the wife of King Ahab. Pandora’s Box was believed to have been sent by the gods to a woman named Pandora, forbidden to be opened, but out of inordinate curiosity, she opened it and loosed swarm of evils upon humankind. Now the subject matter; is it true that behind every successful man there is a woman? I will remain contrary to yes! Until I am proven wrong with facts, concepts and logics. To buttress my points, what is our take on the concepts of “Olorunsogo” and “Surulere” in the light of marriage issues and our Yoruba sisters’ belief? It is said that a modern Yoruba woman does not believe in “surulere” status of marriage but believes in “Olorunsogo”. By definitions, the literal meaning of “Surulere” to a Yoruba woman in view of marriage is patience or endurance, which she considers as taboo, while “Olorunsogo” means ready made. Therefore, if a woman goes into marriage with a man that has already achieved success, where is the place of logic in our success axiom? In a more practical realities, permit me to mention names in no particular order with due respect to these wealthy men of worth as case study. For instance, if the ex-governor of Lagos state – Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu decides to add more wives to his existing ones, can we sincerely say that these wives are behind his success. If President Aliko Dangote by virtue of his financial status and religious permissiveness, choose to marry more wives, and by the nature of man, the younger wife with charming elegance will always be the one that will accompany him to any ceremony where such introductions that spurred my controversy “behind every successful man there is a woman” are often made to eulogize a mere ‘Olorun-sogo’. Can we say with every sense of right judgment that these ‘Olorun-sogo’s are behind his success? Better still, if Governor Rochas Okorocha of Imo state decides to marry a new wife can we attribute the new wife as being behind his success story in life. My answer is no. Therefore, I can only be in consonance with any one on this issue if only there is a postulation that says; “behind every corrupt public office holder their are squandering women”. But wait a minute, does this rule out the fact that there are indeed great women? Of course, there are. I would be unfair and cynical to women folks if I should decipher and decimate this crystal truth. In fact, apart from some local champions who came to prominence through the instrumentality of “first lady-ship” the brain child of Gen. Babangida and the only good legacy he would be remembered for by the wives of his successors when his gone. There are however catalogues of women who excelled and attained greatness more than men folks have. They are enviable women of worth and great substance dotted all over the globe. These include; the ex-prime minister of India, late Mrs. Indira Gandhi, ex-British prime minister, late Baroness Margaret Thatcher, ex-America’s secretary of States, Mrs. Condoleezza Rice, Her royal majesty, the Queen of England, Queen Elizabeth 1, The current president of Malawi, Mrs. Joyce Banda, and of course, our own current minister of finance and erstwhile managing director of World Bank, Prof Ngozi Okonjo Iweala and so on and so on. Hmm! Permit me to belch before I ask this question. Does this again prove another damnable axiom “what a man can do, women can do even better?” This is topic for another day. You must hear this, I was greatly angered when I listened to Friday, 19/07/13 edition of “political platform” where the anchor of that programme rather than condemn in strong terms the unconstitutional activities of Mrs. Dame Patience Goodluck Jonathan for trying to arrogate to herself and assume presidential powers, the office presently occupied by her husband – Goodluck Ebele Jonathan. These guys were busy talking away the limited time meant for the programme by emphasizing on what legal and maternal rights does Mrs. Jonathan thinks she has to claim son-ship over governor Amaechi of Rivers state. Probably they were confused to understand that Mrs. Dame Jonathan did not mean to claim “oga” Amaechi as her biological son. Even at that, if I may ask, was she wrong to address governor Amaechi and some other persons as her children considering her marital status and age? My answer is no. I want to maintain with due respect to women and every sense of responsibility that Mrs. Dame Patience Jonathan, by all standards has right of motherhood to all, all over the world just as my own humble mother and all mothers has right of motherhood to all. Therefore, it is imperative that we put aside tribal sentiments and personal hatred in handling our national issues because it is diversionary against weightier issues of national concern. It is obvious that in the recent past Mrs. Dame Patience Jonathan has been trying to make herself noticed and relevant in the socio-political and economic policies of Nigeria by usurping her husband’s position of authority by way of trampling on toes. Was she alone? I leave that to you. But let us ponder awhile on this question; should we really blame madam? My answer is no! However, if for any reason some persons say yes, what are their indices to justify their affirmations. I want to remind us that before Mrs. Dame Patience Jonathan Goodluck went agog as it were, she was humble and confided herself to full time housewife, this was grossly misconstrued by Nigerians to mean naïve, not social, unheard, ignorance, probably not well lettered and not discreet enough to usurp the office of the first lady as did the wives of her husband’s predecessors – Mariam Babangida, Stella Obasanjo to mention but a few. I will also want to believe that her husband, President Jonathan took notice of these unwholesome remarks against his wife, frantically arranged for her brush-up, assigned special advisers as his manner is, to polish and bring her to standard in compliance with the unequivocal status of the ‘first lady’. In other words, I want to say pointedly that so long as her husband’s tenure in the office of the president remains, Nigerians should brace-up to see the hidden ‘iron lady’ in her. Hey! This does not mean that she is instrumental to Jonathan’s success. Permit to digress awhile. This incident – wedding ceremony happened live some years ago in Benin City, Edo state Nigeria. It was an ugly scenario that started as a mild drama on an occasion highly revered globally, expected to exhibit extreme serenity and aura of peace, love and happiness because of its spiritual and physical significance in holy matrimony. Sadly, it was eventually marred with full-blown hostility that progressed and metamorphosed into royal battle of affluence. It was a battle of wealth supremacy and class distinction between one Desmond – a successful businessman and son in-law of the ‘Osama’ of Benin kingdom and business mogul, Chief, Sir Gabriel Igbinedion. A show that clearly defined the manly stand on the part of Desmond. Did he budge? Keep perusing. Desmond has proposed Chief Igbinedion’s daughter for marriage. Before that wedding, there were wars of supremacy of wealth between Desmond and Chief Igbinedion’s family. The two sons of the ‘Osama’ – Lucky and Mike had vehemently opposed the marriage because, to them Desmond was a mere gold-digger and they tried in futility to dissuade their sister from consenting to Desmond’s marriage proposals on the following reasons (1) Desmond has a poor family background, (2) it would be a big slight on the Igbinedion’s. I want to encourage us to be resolutely courageous in the face of intimidating challenges to call a spade by its real name. Suffice to say that it is easy to gather bags of ant’s jaws to pay a dowry than for the poor to marry the rich. I stand to be corrected. Why? Because in extreme situations parents of the rich threatens to commit suicide if they cannot dissuade their children from marrying from poor family than to be alive to witness such marriage solemnized. It is regarded as denigrate to the family’s reputations, therefore a taboo. However, where the Youngman or young woman chose to remain defiant and go ahead with the marriage, him or her risks being ostracized from the family or eliminated. Eliminated? Yes, the discrimination is as bad as that. When Lucky and Mike the sons of Chief Igbinedion saw that their sister was resolute and poised to bear whatever consequences her decision might result to, they re-strategize and went on full confrontations and threats to Desmond. Desmond was asked to admit that he was a gold-digger as a condition to accept him as son in-law. This was a tall order. Trust dauntless Desmond, he remained adamant and refused to budge, though the Igbinedion’s lost that battle, but that was not without consequences on the part of Desmond. THE WEDDING PROPER AND THE IGBINEDION’S STRATEGIES. The Igbinedion has decided to do something funny but cruel on that wedding day. Two wedding reception venues were formed – the Igbinedion’s and the Desmond’s respectively. Trust the Igbinedion’s venue; it was beauty indescribable and unimaginable. A mini heaven’s paradise on planet earth. Desmonds? It was a story for another day. RECEPTION OF INVITEES AND SPECIAL GUESTS AT THE LAGOS AIRPORT. The Igbinedion’s provided a special aircraft at the Lagos airport and state of the arts bus at Benin airport specifically for the Igbinedion guests. If you are for Desmond it was abomination either by error or intentional to come closer to any of the transport arrangement made by the Igbinedion’s. It was the height of class discriminations exhibited in the history of marriages. Did that that union last the test of time? I cannot say, but all I knew was that after that wedding, the rest was history. But the question that should continue to agitate reasoning minds should not be far from; is it true that “behind every successful man there is a woman”
Posted on: Sun, 01 Sep 2013 20:47:26 +0000
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