BLACK SANTA BRINGS GIFTS TO OUR PUBLIC OFFICIALS. ===================================== This year the original Santa was not able to make it to Saint Lucia but was not going to let our public officials, so he sent Black Santa to deputize for him. He is led to believe that nutten nah runnin is the new en rouge this year so he plans to be as generous as he can. For Dr. Claudius Preville he brought A Book of Psalms for having jumped into the vipers nest without any protection. He did not leave nothing to chance and highlighted the verse in #23: Yea thou I walk through the valley of the shadow of death... For Richard Black Santa simply offers three cheers: Hip Hip last hurray and reminded him to make sure he turns off the lights when he leaves the room. Dr. Jimmy Fletcher would appreciate that. However, Black Santa loves humble pie as much as black cake and will relish a big slice if Freddo becomes the comeback kid of the century. For Pep he brought a plaque Most Qualified Water-boy in Caribbean Politics. He says its either SLP have a very deep bench or sum ting wong. He remains perplexed. For Alvina Black Santa could not do much but wish for a miracle to magically improve our bush-tea health system. We depend on prayer, bush tea and take two panadol for all medical issues. Excuse me, I eh blaming her for that. Anyway Black Santa have no answers for her but he could only bring a book of bush bath concoctions to supplement the bush tea. There is a bush bath in the book specifically for national economic restoration and he suggests that Alvina draw that bath for Helen. Can you imagine if that works? Hum hum hum. Say toute kna di. For Shawn Edward, lost in the fog and seemingly forgotten Black Santa will place his name on a milk carton with the words: Have you seen me? Call 1 800 LOST POL. For a Spider who is lost in the world wide web of irrelevant politicians Black Santa brought a compass so he can find his way. The deer in the headlights contenance suggests he too calls that number above. For the Senate President, moonlighting as the governments Cusser-in-Chief, Black Santa brought a step ladder so he can rise to the stature of his office. For that Guy - the most tarred and feathered politician in Saint Lucia Black Santa paid for a kerosene bath for him followed by a good cheeway with jeyes and a power rinse. Next he recommends the Guy kalay toute poche li so we can be sure he did not steal Taiwanese money. For the Minister of Silence er Agriculture, Black Santa brought his some un-MooMoo elexir. Heres a guy hitting above his weight yet is so unassuming one would swear hes missing in action. Bat tamboo ou tambooierre. No one will beat it for you. For Arsene Black Santa says while he may speak like a country boy he aint no neg marron when it comes to the value of the politicial real estate he lords over and that anodder smaddy is ogling it. Black Santa will help him in the negotiation and has already suggested that some KoKoPamme (its just coconut butter) should serve as grease to make the deal go down soomthly. For the scrotally audacious CSA President/Senator Black Santa bought some very expensive Reality Tablets. She is to take two in the night with some truth serum and demit the presidency of the CSA in the morning. He further suggests that she prepares a face saving exit statement as Senator because she is sure to disappoint the appointor. Black Santa advises to secure it in a ziploc bag and place it in the freezer as Karma is best served cold. The man who has everything and has always had everything given to him presented a formidable headscratcher for Black Santa. He brought the neophyte pol and Moses masquerader who cannot work his way out of a wet paperbag a GPS so he can find his way out of his own way. Black Santa will also buy the rights to the book he will write entitled: Money cant buy you a Prime Ministership. For the Minister of FOREIGN Affairs Black Santa wasted a lot of fuel looking for him so he crossed him from the list all together. If anyone sees him please give him that number above and say ET call home. For Pip Black Santa thinks hes had a good year, save for the fact he did not adequately estimate how much it costs to block a hole whether in the stomach or on the road. Nevertheless, he saved La Corbs arse in the firemen strike, took charge like a general during the last flooding in the that Guys neck of the woods, and has become brigdgebuilder extraodinaire. So Black Santa brought another victory at the polls signed and seal to be delivered at the appointed time. He will also purchase the rights to his book entitled: How to win Elections Without Even Trying. I know smaddy who will appreciate an autographed copy of that book if he is still in the arena after November 2016. For the LOO Black Santa would ask the CSA soon-to-be exPresident, exSenator for some of that scrotal thinggy for her as she will no longer need it, and he will give her that relaxer he brought her. Not for her hair stupid, its for her speech so she can try to speak Saint Lucian. No again I am not talking about her accent I am talking about not trying too hard to sound educated. We already know she is. Last but not least, the Prime Minister, The Big Kahuna, The Big McGaffy. No I am not referring to his weight you silly goat. I am talking about his power, his authority that smaddy is jealous of. Black Santa scratched off the bullet proof vest and car because he knows Saint Lucians talk shiss but they not crazy like that. Newsflash Black Santa opines, most people like Kenny Anthony personally and those who dislike him its only because of politics, but not enough to want him dead. Perish the thought. So he brought him a book entitled: How to Develop a Small Island Developing State Without two Nickels to rub Together. Lamentably, there were not enough ideas to fill a pamphlet. Turning pye banan into gold was the most feasible. Go figure. If that bush bath Alvina concots for Helen works Kenny will be smiling from ear to ear, not to mention the rest of the nation. Even UWPites would be tickled pink. Tsk tsk close enough to red. Black Santa would have given that ex-calypsonian exMinister from the valley a Time Machine so he could go back and revote for Kenny for maximum leader of the SLP but he says he dont do revision of history. So he gets of lump of coal. Sacre Bleu. Merry Christmas to everyone. Live, Laugh and Love. Black Santa
Posted on: Wed, 24 Dec 2014 22:32:04 +0000
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