BREAKING THE STUPID IDIOT CYCLE: A Guide To Using Your Turn Signals, by Carly DuHain INTRODUCTION: LETS NOT DIE. THIS IS SOME SIMPLE SHIT. Sure, it seems EASY enough: you need to move your two-ton death trap from the right lane to the left so you wont miss the turn for Panera Bread, so you use one finger to simply flick the switch down to indicate your intentions to other drivers whilst checking in your mirrors (PLURAL) to ensure youre not going to cause an unnecessary accident, and merge over just in time to smell the freshly baked goodness. BUT THIS IS NOT HOW IT HAPPENS. According to a recent study, an estimated 2 million Americans are involved in collisions each year because of neglected turn signals. Also, a 2006 survey done by multiple insurance agencies concluded (on average) that 57% of drivers DO NOT USE THEIR TURN SIGNALS. Thats some serious shit. WAKE UP, ROADJERKS - YOURE NOT THE ONLY ONES OUT THERE, AND YOURE KILLING THE PEOPLE WHO PROBABLY DO USE TURN SIGNALS. If you dont use this simple, game-changing, life-saving tool, I need you to do the following if you do not intend to START using them: I need you to go into your kitchen/pantry/garage, or wherever you keep nauseous, poisonous chemicals and I need you to ingest them entirely, immediately, and die the slow death you deserve. However, if youre ready to become a welcomed member of society and stop potentially murdering the smart crop, I welcome you to the beginning of a beautiful tutorial. LESSON 1 TOMORROW
Posted on: Sat, 05 Jul 2014 21:40:10 +0000
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