Battle of 5 Yawns: AKA Its not in the book I thought all 3 of these movies were awful. Why? 9 hours and 7 of them werent from the book the hobbit or any other Tokein book. Just stuff they made up for the screenplay. So first off the kill the dragon in the first 10 minutes of the movie. They did kill him in a cool way that was at least sort of like in the book. But......why did they put the end of the 2nd movie at the beginning of the 3rd? It made no sense. it was anti-climactic. Then the 3rd act of the movie actually starts. The Humans of Laketown and the Elves march up to the mountain cause they want their gold great. Then the movie goes off about some bullshit called dragon sickness. As though greed can never just happen, it has to be magic. They also spend way too much time with Characters from LOTR fighting eachother in a scene that never happened and wasnt in the book. Look, i get it, you want to tie The Hobbit in with LOTR. Yes....its called the ring. Thats it. Thats the tie in. Legolias was not there. Sauran was not there. The ringwraiths were not there. What the hell? Blah blah blah, what feels like an eternity goes by, then the orcs show up with a surprise ambush. It starts out good. These giant worms dig secret paths up so the orcs can sneak up on the elves, humans, and dwarves. Then the giant worms disappear and are never mentioned again. This brings me to the CGI. The CGI looked like shit in all 3 movies, but this one in particular looked like CGI 20 years ago. Horrible and cartoonish. The dialogue thats added on and isnt taken from the book is so horrible and fake. Its like they borrowed from someones fan fiction for ideas. Throughout the entire trilogy you can pinpoint the scenes and moments that were in the book. The drama stops and the characters stop, and read their dialogue and then ok enough of that back to the hobbit the phantom menace strikes back Half of the movie follows either the exploits of the deputy mayor of laketown who is a discount wormtoungue, or revolves around a red headed she-elf emoting badly. If this is love i dont want it Barf out my ass garbage! The scenes with the deputy mayor are so jarringly bad that they take you right out of the movie, and they come up like clockwork every 10 minutes. The battle itself is cut up and put on pause every few minutes to make room for more drama thats not in the book. At the end when the Eagles show up with the Bearman.....the Bear attacks the orcs....and is on screen for a whopping 3 seconds. WHAT? The pacing of this is so horrible that anyone who never read the book cant even figure out who the 5th army even is. They seem to think the 5th army is the army of dwarves that shows up or the 2nd army of orcs that never really get to the battle. legolias, your mother really did love you Its like they didnt even read the book. Yeah, you cant follow a book 100%, but you cant just massacre it like this either. I hope someone who cares remakes this someday and makes it the single movie it should have been without wedged in love triangles and crap. The main point of the story is supposed to warn people against greed. And the movies were made out of just that: Greed. Imagine this 5 minute clip.....but spread out over 3 hours. STUPID! https://youtube/watch?v=3DD3aSIbT6M
Posted on: Fri, 09 Jan 2015 01:05:13 +0000
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