Beauty for Ashes - In Dec. of 2009, everything began to burn up. Let me just say, satan placed a big red target on me and all that I cherish and he went FULL force with what seemed to be every fiery dart from hell. It hurt yall. It hurt so very badly. Every arrow. I still wince when I consider the piercings. The greatest pain was watching my children under all out assault. The questions...the confusion in their eyes and their gut-wrenched cries. I wasnt prepared for any of it. It stunk. It royally stunk to high Heaven. The stench lingers. I have been sitting in ashes for over 4 years now. I was clinging to special pieces. Seemed like just when I thought Id salvaged something, another flaming arrow would come out of nowhere and it would be engulfed in a raging blaze and be reduced to black, smoldering soot I was blistered there in the pile...surveying the loss. The world wasnt even recognizable to me anymore. I had become unclean to many who walked around with Theological prowess. I was to stay in the pile...the ashen heap. At a complete loss, I begged God to take me to Heaven. I felt if I could just go be with Him that my children and those that Ive ministered to throughout so many years could perhaps remember me as I was. Maybe some dignity could be salvaged. If God would just let me go on Home to Him. I was ready. God said I couldnt go Home to Him. He said that He was coming to me instead. And He did. He stepped in the ashes. He lifted me up. He blew the soot off of me. He took the sleeve of His robe and He wiped the smudges off of my face. And He took the balm of His GREAT LOVE and He began to medicate my burns. I looked in His loving eyes and I whimpered, My babies, Lord. MY babies... He shushed me and told me that His Holy Spirit and angelic hosts already had them in their intensive care. I had preached. I had written songs. I had sung. Throughout the years, I had spread the Word about the kindness of my God. Now He was with me demonstrating the fullness of it up close and personal. I simply had no capability of helping myself. The loss was too great. I was in my Saviors Hands. I would go to bed...He was with me. I would wake up...and There He was. All I could do was look to my Abba. My Papa. What am I to do, Father? Hed whisper, Just trust....shhhh....just trust. Songs would come daily. Yall read them...heard some of them. Theyre sacred. So very sacred. How am I suppose to support my kids? He chuckled a bit, In the condition youre in? Van, you cant do it. Ill do it. You need to realize, Ive ALWAYS been the One doing it anyway. Just trust. Stephen Stox (a Godly businessman...son of a great FWB Pastor) is gonna teach you all you need to know about selling insurance. Youll do that for a while...then, Mike Hardison (good Godly friend from church) along with his fantastic team at Regional Acceptance Corp. will show you how to work in collections. I wondered, how in the world is any of this going to be possible? Then, I asked my Father, Are these things really what youd have me do? Yes, He said. Then He added...For now. But Lord, Singing....Preaching? He reassured me, Youll still be doing that too. Ill give you plenty of opportunities. Yall, I sold Aflac. I learned everything there is to know about that crazy white duck. And it was such a blessing. Met some great friends along the way. Then, collections. Whew! Thatll take the breath out of ya. But, the people at RAC have been so amazingly kind...so helpful. God used so many people. They probably didnt even fully realized that they were. being employed as HIS emotional, mental and physical therapists. But they all have been exceptional. Used by the Masters Hands. Tonight, I sat on the couch with my Raigan and my Weston. Chandler had gone to church with his sweet cousin, Jenna. My youngest two and I waited. Then the call came. It was the Pastor. 100%! Van, you got 100% of the vote! You are now the full-time Youth Minister of Reedy Branch FWB Church in Winterville, NC! I could hear several of the precious folks in the congregation cheering in the background. They wanted me to hear. I fell on my knees and wept. The kids tried to console me. I assured them that Daddy was just fine. Just fine. :) I was crying and smiling. So much of that black ash had just transformed to fine flakes of gold. Father, what are you doing? He whispered again, Shhhh....Ive gotcha....just trust.
Posted on: Thu, 13 Mar 2014 01:47:22 +0000
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