Because I hear my last link failed, heres some clubs day exploits involving everyones favourite me and john keys security which canta let us down and didnt print. Thing I emailed to Canta and hope they will print Sorry for not being a cheerleader Mr Key We all loved clubs day didn’t we, beautiful day, lovely people, all the enthusiasm and best of all a visit from our beloved Prime Minister John Key. Clearly terribly excited to see this GREAT GREAT man I changed out of my KAOS robes and into a rather dashing tweed jacket, (although still with a large brightly coloured toy gun visible in the pocket, I am KAOS after all) and waited for his grace our lord Mister Key to make his way past and stop and shake hands and chat, hoping to just hold his hand for a brief while and see his fatherly plastered on grin looking down at me and meeting his eyes, just long enough to see the fatherly tenderness he is renowned for. This he was doing with many of the other groups of people he went past. However he completely bypassed our entire group, stopping on both stalls either side of us. As a result of this I joined his flock of followers, photo seekers and young Nats, I couldn’t let this opportunity slip from my grasp! Not when I was so close as to almost be able to touch him! Now as I recalled that a few years back Mr Key was so kind as to have a paper sword fight with a representative of Auckland KAOS, I figured we could perhaps tempt him with meeting Christchurch KAOS. The best KAOS. The first NZ KAOS, formed in 1981, I wanted to bring joy to the faces of the other representatives of our great club. I explained this to the young nats who surrounded him and they waved me ahead and told me to speak to the big man myself (oh what joy! I am recounting the butterflies in my stomach even now!) but by the time I got near the inner circle I was rather firmly guided out of the group by a large, suited up and ear pieced man who shoved me towards a police officer who he then told to ‘explain it’ to me. The police officer and myself then shared a lovely discussion regarding brightly coloured toy guns, and he was very curious about KAOS as a club and I let him know that the toy wasn’t there out of any particular significance to our lord John Key, so he took down my drivers licence details and let me carry along on my merry way, provided I leave my toy with someone else if I was to again attempt to reach the prescence of our beloved Mister Key, because ‘you can understand they need to be careful’. During all of this Mister Key was having his photo taken with the cheerleaders, the Musoc show girls and any number of other pretty young ladies as he could get his arms around (well fair enough obviously, being the prime minister has to have its perks surely?) Then I returned, sans large brightly coloured toy, and as I went forward to shake the hand of our Lord (I called him John!), and started to ask him if he had any interest in joining the original KAOS, I found myself now with security hands in my coat and pockets. By the time I looked back up Mister Key was already walking away, greasy smile still plastered on and my opportunity totally missed, it being made somewhat clear that there was no interest on Mister keys part of joining our great and glorious club. As a result of this I can only assume that John Key has snubbed the great club of KAOS for one of the following reasons. 1. He is now secretly an Agent of KAOS Auckland and as such views us here in Christchurch as his rivals and foes. 2. The New Zealand security forces for the Prime Minister greatly fear large coloured plastic weaponry and that it is the greatest threat that they have ever been faced with. 3. He has in the past had a bad experience with a man in tweed and it has left him very vulnerable to the scars I undoubtedly re opened. 4. I just wasn’t pretty enough for Mister Key to put his arm around and take a photo with. 5. I am a terribly intimidating young man. (grrr and the like) 6. Through the GCSB Mr Key has learned that I am NOT the National supporter this article may make me appear to be. 7. As we all understand Our Lord Mister Key’s time as Prime Minister is limited, and he didn’t wish to waste it making idle chit chat with me.
Posted on: Mon, 17 Mar 2014 02:32:45 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015