Befriend your in-law To enjoy a peaceful union with your spouse, you need to develop a cordial relationship with your in-laws. To make this a reality: Pray for your in-laws Never underestimate the power of prayer. You need to be faithful in praying for your in-laws and your relationship with them. Without question, prayer is always your greatest weapon when seeking a healthy relationship with in-laws. Be sensitive Never put your spouse in a situation where he/she has to choose between you and a relative. If you do so, you are putting your spouse in a nearly impossible bind. Instead, try to understand the bond your spouse has with his/her family. Discover your mother- or father-in-law’s likes and dislikes. Take the time to get to know them and you might even find out that you have some things in common. Schedule time together and apart? Striking a healthy balance regarding the amount of time you spend with in-laws can be tricky. However, most people do have the tendency to spend too little or too much time with in-laws. But the trick lies in keeping a somewhat regular schedule of when you will see one another. Protect your spouse? Generally, parents are quicker to forgive and forget the shortcomings of their children than those of their child’s spouse. Consequently, couples should particularly establish boundaries in terms of what they say about their spouse to their parents. Discernment should be exercised before conversing with parents over contentious issues (marital quarrels, finances, spouse’s weaknesses). Don’t get too familiar Consider yourself lucky, if your mother-in-law happens to be the very hospitable type, as she will not help but pamper you every second of the day. But there is something you must always know: excessive familiarity will always breed contempt. Be close to your in-laws but not too close for comfort. Do not reveal all Do not be too quick to reveal all about yourself if you are very good friends with your in-laws. Some personal details about yourself are best kept and left as secrets between your spouse and yourself. Don’t be too quick to let your guards down and remember to always maintain some form of privacy. Be neutral Don’t take sides with your partner and or his/her parents. If you do, you will create more tension and rifts within the family. Don’t insert yourself into an argument between your partner and their parents. This will put an even greater strain on your relationship. Get to know them You don’t have to like your in-laws, but treat them with respect. After all, they are your spouse’s parents and are a part of your family. You realise it won’t be easy to build bridges-and rebuild some that have been burnt – but you also realise that it’s a valuable way to spend your time.
Posted on: Sun, 28 Sep 2014 06:48:04 +0000