Being WRONG: What You Need to Know About it and 5 Things You Need To Do… So Put Your “Big Boy/ Big Girl Panties” On. Lets face it, no one likes to be wrong, but it happens to all of us. The problem really isn’t being wrong, that’s part of the frailty of being human, the problem is believing that admitting you are wrong is a sign of weakness. Deep down, we often know when we are wrong, but it is our insecurities that stop us from admitting to it. The truth is, admitting you are wrong is actually sign of strength and confidence. When you dance around being wrong or simply refuse to “fess up, ” you undermine yourself to others because believe it or not, when you are wrong and you OWN it, people have more respect for you and perceive you much more favorably. When someone consistently refuses to admit to their mistakes, it is a sign of weakness and an indicator that they lack confidence. Strong confident people can admit they are wrong, even when they don’t like it. They understand that they can grow and evolve through their mistakes. Instead of seeing themselves as “bad,” they use mistakes as opportunities for growth. Often times, people who consistently struggle with admitting they are wrong see mistakes as flaws to who they are or that they are a “bad” person. There is a huge difference in believing that you did something “bad” verses that you are “bad.” When you’ve made a mistake or done something “bad,” follow these steps to put yourself back on track with grace and dignity. * Take Ownership! ~ Do not make excuses or try and pass the buck. If you have it, resist the urge to explain to the other person that somehow their words or actions are responsible for your wrongdoing. When you refuse to take ownership of your own mistakes and blame the other person, you make yourself a victim and victims are the weaker party. Stand tall and put your “big boy or girl panties on”…go on, you can do it! *Be sincere ~ No one likes a phony person and a phony apology just makes the situation worse. Be yourself, speak clearly and look the other person in the eye. Don’t give a “canned” response or a lame excuse. *Explain what was going on with you ~ This is very powerful because you allow the other person a glimpse into your thinking and feeling. This is especially important if you have hurt someone’s feelings with an emotional outburst and can share what came up for you during the interaction. When the other person can see that you are willing to make yourself vulnerable, they are more likely to want to forgive you. It’s a common misperception that showing vulnerability is a weakness, in actuality it is a strength. *Share what you learned about yourself and how you plan to do better. If this is an isolated incident, you may not have a lot to offer. If this is a theme with you or in your relationship (s), dig deep and figure out a plan for handling it differently next time around. *End on a high note ~ Thank the other person for listening to you and if they took it well, acknowledge that fact. If they are still struggling, let them know you are willing to give them some time and space. Chances are, if you follow this formula, you will win them over pretty quickly. As soon as you realize you were wrong, be proactive. Don’t make the other person have to ask for your apology. One of the most powerful things you can do is recognize you’ve made a mistake and be the first one to bring it up. I guarantee you, doing this will score you big “brownie” points and you will be perceived as caring, responsible and will most likely be forgiven much faster. I recently overreacted to something my husband, Larry, didn’t do on the Honey Do List and completely ignored all the things he did accomplish. I knew right away he was hurt and felt unappreciated. After a 10-minute conversation with myself about how “I should be able to expect things done a certain way…” I stopped myself and realized it was a “losers game.” I put on my “big girl panties,” walked up to him and gave him a big unexpected hug and apologized for being inconsiderate. Right then and there, he relaxed and was able to let it go. While it may not always go that well, I guarantee, admitting the error of your ways is a better strategy than deny, deny, deny! In closing, a word of caution…often times in relationships there is one person who consistently struggles with apologies or simply doesn’t do it. While on the surface it may appear the other person lets it go, this kind of pattern undermines relationships and can be like lead poison…a slow steady death. You AND Your relationships deserve better.
Posted on: Wed, 23 Oct 2013 19:20:06 +0000
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