Being independent helps you discover things beyond yourself, and that can be kind of fascinating. This ‘being on my own’, ‘let me do it myself’ idea I tend to often implant in my executing of things and on the other side, my encounters with women whom I’ve met along the way – women who’ve forced themselves into an excruciating form of independence due to the lack of good in manhood has subconsciously created a ‘sphere’ that was slowly becoming an entrapment I find difficulty understanding but found myself in. There are good men in this world, certainly. Religion, and the man without whom I wouldn’t exist a daughter in this world helped push that belief. Having grown to this point (not in physical terms), I was made to witness how mothers were left to fend for their future and families because a man decided he would rather be doing other things than to bear the sacred responsibility of the term “husband” or “father". I saw how ladies were put through an intense mental torture because some guys choose to manipulate the sometimes foolish minds we have and extract from us the cores of our womanly compassion. I witnessed, experienced and tolerated myself a sometimes sickening, chauvinistic environment the manly world creates for itself – demeaning, degrading and deleting the values, dignity and honor a woman is blessed with. Despite all those things, it was never great enough an impact on me that it would bring to existence a space within - nurturing a prejudice, a coldness to this male version of human beings. Being a lot more on my own recently, however, reinforced that. Little things – like getting on a bus filled with young, fully-bodied, able men sitting down and actually being able to bear the sight of women standing would agitate that space. It turned into something I couldn’t quite comprehend – and affected my personal perspective on possibly finding a partner that would complement me, more than he would complete me in this life. But in experiencing these things – I was shaken back and forth between a paradigm. I wasn’t losing hope – but I was adamant on something that wasn’t really positive - this perspective of mine towards men. I was aware something was wrong, and I had made it known to myself to try and rectify things, perhaps with the hope of faith. And as I was doing so, in the most unexpected of situations – God places me in situations, sometimes putting me in a position to witness what I probably needed to. I went on a trip to Malaysia recently, and we visited a landmark mosque – there, I planned to have in sight the intricate details and art of the very beautiful mosque as a traveler or a tourist would, but God Willed along with it the very moment that solemnizes a man and a woman as husband and wife. What were the odds? I was caught in the moment, as I would be each time. It seemed as if I never had any complexities of any sort during that time. I had forgotten. And in that moment when such consciousness failed me – I had let go. Only to realize I slipped again once I snapped back. And it happens like a cycle. But God is the Greatest. Each time my weaknesses and flaws push me to bear sight of the lesser good concerning masculinity and skims away my faith in the good I know for sure exists – God shakes me out of it, strangely, subtly and sometimes, like a storm. And I helplessly, but almost willingly surrender to the reality that men of foresight, of wisdom, of maturity, of a male softness and of genuine chivalry are still around. Yes, indeed our Prophet was an example perfect for both men and women to emulate. His noble characteristics are a realization of human potential – and my accumulated experiences were like spots that blinded my sight from belief in such a goodness, as I came to convince myself that there could be no other like our blessed Prophet – and that men today are of a different age, that they could never be the same. Then God brings me to see for myself men - common men, struggling, striving and searching for themselves to be close to him, salAllahu ‘alayhi wasallam - through means that would make them walk in his footsteps, in hopes and prayers to be like him. Today, I am thankful for my father, for my uncles, for my brothers, my homies, for every man who’s loved beyond what is seen of a woman, for every man who’s stood up for the those who’ve fallen, for every man who’s dared to embrace a woman’s shyness, as much as he’s dared to encourage her confidence. And I pray today, will be every day.
Posted on: Sun, 02 Jun 2013 06:28:08 +0000
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