Being the spouse of a Vet with PTSD (and TBI) can feel completely overwhelming some days. Trying to balance the role of Caregiver (or, I prefer, Care-helper), with being just a wife (or husband), and also a friend, is tremendously challenging. Its really tough to know where one role begins and another ends, and to do this with grace, patience, and compassion. We get our own version of PTSD... become fearful, of when the next anger outburst will happen, not knowing how bad it will get, or how long it will last. Many of us come to the point where WE feed the PTSD cycle, out of our own learned fear and desperation. We become obsessively hyper-vigilant... trying to make sure nothing triggers our Vet, watching for the slightest shift in their moods. We become control freaks, guarding our Vet from all SORTS of things... knowing that when things go off the rails, it usually happens very fast, and very hard, so we become like professional blockers (think football) 24/7. We too develop sleep problems... because we worry if this is going to be another night when our Vet gets NO sleep, or is going to be another night of nightmares, and possible unintended injury from flailing arms and legs... trying to get some sleep ourselves, always with one ear open. We also become warriors ourselves, taking on anyone, or anything that threatens to harm the small amount of peace we have managed to secure... and performing verbal jujitsu with doctors and Commanders of all kinds, to make sure our Vet gets the care he/she needs. We often mature in the form of trial by fire... not how we would wish to... but become stronger for it, and often find strength we had NO idea we even possessed. WE are the spouses of this Nations Wounded Warriors, still trying to valiantly fight the war here at home. ~~ Michele Smith
Posted on: Sat, 10 May 2014 00:07:01 +0000
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