Blog 8 One Uppers.......Have you ever heard the song Anything you can do I can do better? Its an oldie and a goodie and holds true to many folks all across the land. You know those folks- you tell them something like; I have so much running around to do I know I wont have time to eat today and the person youre talking to responds, without skipping a beat, with; Ive been running around since last week and havent eaten anything in days. So what do you say? You win a cookie! A gold star! Wow. You ARE way busier than me so I shouldnt complain......Pretty much, that person, would be called a one-upper. The frustrating thing about a one-upper is that they will never be able to validate how YOU are because they are too busy thinking about how THEY are.....Many people embellish whats going on in their lives. They want you to think they are doing more, creating more, producing more and basically, you couldnt hold a candle to their busy life because it you did, theyd STILL one up you. I think everyone is guilty of one-upping some time in their lives. If I was being totally honest, Id tell you that I have been guilty of one-upping. Not intentionally, but for sure, Ive done it. I remember before having kids, I had gal pals who had babies and I couldnt understand why they couldnt meet me for lunch or to go shopping. What was the big deal? I was tired and making an effort so what the flip? Um, because doing anything with a little human is one million times more difficult. There is nap time, routines and general exhaustion when it comes to caring for another human. But I didnt get that until I was in the same boat. It taught me a HUGE lesson. Ive since apologized. Same is true for people who suffer with chronic illnesses where they have extreme exhaustion, chronic pain and possibly depression. Those 3 usually go hand and hand. Its different than folks who have the occasional bad day or didnt get enough sleep the night before.....it really is.....BUT until youve experienced that, youll never really get it. Lots of folks that I know, who suffer from one of those three simply power thru because they have no choice. They have kids or a job that requires then to be focused and sharp as a tack. The point? Here you go- the world is littered with one-uppers and those folks might never change. But acknowledge that those guys and gals might not ever change and its a part of who they are- its not malicious or insensitive- its a legit lack of knowledge and not being able to walk a day in your shoes. Im not saying that as a put-down because there are lots of really amazaball folks who just dont get it. Lifes too short and as a woman speaking to other women- lets all make a BIG effort to NOT one-up one another....Everyone is going thru SOMETHING so taking the one-upsmanship out of the equation will make us all stronger, more sensitive, better listeners and better pals. Gentle hugs, Nomi
Posted on: Mon, 10 Nov 2014 11:44:58 +0000
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