Blog post in 2010 (I think I have learned more patience since then. I sure hope so. Ive had many years to hone that skill.) No Patience for Judgment... I have been living the bipolar roller coaster officially for over nine years and unofficially for my entire life, so you would think that after all this time of dealing with peoples critical judgment regarding medications for mental illness, I would be beyond being affected by their criticism. You would think that I could accept that they are speaking from a lack of knowledge and experience, and therefore, have no idea what they are talking about. You would think. But I do care and I hate being misunderstood. It cuts like a knife every time but especially when it comes from people I really care about. I guess I need to get thicker skin. It very quickly sends me into a downward spiral. Brent wonders why it matters so much to me what other people think. I really cant answer that, only that it does. When it happens, I first have disbelief, then anger, and then many, many tears. Stupid, I know. For some reason it makes me question all the experience and knowledge that I have received through years of study and personal trials with the bipolar illness. I know how critical medications have been for myself, my kids, and others that I personally know. It frustrates me that I let others opinions rock my foundation of knowledge. After I work my way through the bipolar emotional mess it creates for me and I have come out on the other side, I can once again gain my strong footing and know that it is just hard, and maybe impossible, for people to understand who have not lived it or who have not witnessed someone they love live the nightmare. Without my medications I would not be here. Period. It took a lot of experimenting, a lot of trial and error, and a lot of painful years before we found the combination that works the best for me. Once we did, I have been able to live again in a somewhat normal way. Medication isnt the cure all but I believe it is the first step. Once a person is stabilized they can then begin to understand and learn how to live with a chronic mental illness. Implementing certain tools will give them the ability to live a good, productive, and happy life. My goal is to stop letting the opinion of others rock my world. I know what I know and that should be enough. So wish me luck on my path to learning how to forgive and not judge others, for their judgment of me.
Posted on: Sun, 26 Oct 2014 04:42:19 +0000
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