Brides and Grooms: Cold Feet Youre about to get married. Are your cold feet a red flag or part of a healthy transformation? Part II Danger, Danger What if your future spouse isnt the right match? Or what if youre just not ready for marriage? Rachel Safier, author of There Goes the Bride, called off her wedding two weeks before the big day. Since then, shes talked to a lot of runaway brides and says that none regrets canceling her wedding. Their only regret is not stepping up sooner. People know what they need, but finding the truth is not as hard as accepting it. Should I Stay or Should I Go? Look Downrange: Ask yourself if youre anxious about the big day—the money, the relatives, the planning—or about the rest of your life. Find the real source of your anxiety. Open Up: Talk to people in happy marriages, Safier says. Ask them if its normal to feel this way. But most important: talk to your partner. Once the ring is on the finger people feel the conversation is closed but its not. Pen to Paper: Write down all your crazy thoughts, Moir-Smith says, and look at them later with a cool head. Sometimes thoughts youre not aware of come to the surface. For example, if you can envision having an affair in a few years, youve got a problem. Under the Weather: Before my wedding, I had migraines and I caught every cold under the sun, Safier says. When disaster is imminent, people feel physical pain, like something is rattling the cage from the inside telling them something is wrong. So listen to your body. Dont be scared to head for the hills if it feels like the right thing to do. Embarrassment and wasted expenses—common excuses for ignoring frosty tootsies—are a small price to pay when avoiding a breakup down the road. But if you know youre on the right path, work through your anxieties and you can enjoy your day in the sun.
Posted on: Sun, 14 Sep 2014 10:00:01 +0000
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