CUCUMBERS ARE BETTER THAN MEN BECAUSE....... (Long But Funny) A cucumber a day keeps the OB-GYN away. A cucumber can always wait until you get home. A cucumber doesnt care if you always spend the holidays with your family. A cucumber doesnt flush the toilet while you are taking a shower. A cucumber doesnt turn your bathroom into a library. A cucumber doesnt use your toothbrush, roll on deodorant, or hair spray. A cucumber isnt allergic to your cat. A cucumber never forgets to flush the toilet. A cucumber never has to call the wife. A cucumber never snaps your bra, or pinches your butt. A cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety. A cucumber never wants to get it on when your nails are wet. A cucumber never wants to improve your mind. A cucumber will always respect you in the morning. A cucumber will never call and say, I have to work late, honey. and then come home with the smell of Channel No. 19 on him. A cucumber will never leave you for another cucumber. A cucumber will never leave you for another man. A cucumber will never leave you for another woman. A cucumber will never make a scene because there are other cucumbers in the refrigerator.. A cucumber wont ask Am I the first? A cucumber wont care what time of the month it is. A cucumber wont come home late, stinking of beer. A cucumber wont fall asleep on your chest or drool on the pillow. A cucumber wont fall asleep too soon. A cucumber wont grab cash from your purse while youre asleep. A cucumber wont lie to you about having a vasectomy. A cucumber wont make you sleep on the wet spot. A cucumber wont mind hiding in the refrigerator when your mother comes over. A cucumber wont need to be sucked off. A cucumber wont pout if you have a headache. A cucumber wont say Lets keep trying until we have a boy. A cucumber wont take you to a disco and dump you for a flashy blonde. A cucumber wont tell you hes outgrown you intellectually. A cucumber wont tell you that size doesnt matter. A cucumber wont want to cum on your face. Cucumbers stay hard for a week. Cucumbers wont ask am I the best? Cucumbers wont ask did you come? How many times? Cucumbers wont ask how was it? Cucumbers wont give you a hickey. Cucumbers wont leave hair on the sink or a ring in the tub. Cucumbers wont make you wear kinky clothes or go to bad with your boots on. Cucumbers wont tell other cucumbers youre a virgin. Cucumbers wont tell you a vasectomy will ruin it for him. Cucumbers wont write ! your name and number on the mens room wall. No matter how you slice it, you can always have your cuke and eat it too. No matter what age group you are in, you can always get a fresh cucumber. The average cucumber is at least seven inches long. With a cucumber you can get a single room and you wont have to check in as Mrs. Cucumber. With a cucumber, the toilet seat is always the way you left it. With a cucumber, you never have to say youre sorry. With cucumbers, you dont have to be a virgin more than once. You always know where YOUR cucumber has been. You can fondle cucumbers in a supermarket and you know how firm it is before you take it home. You only eat cucumbers when you feel like it. You wont find out later that your cucumber is married. You wont find out later that your cucumber is on penicillin or have AIDS. You wont find out later that your cucumber likes you, but loves your brother You wont find out that a cucumber is married. You wont find out that a cucumber is trying to screw your sister. Your mother wont flip out finding a cucumber in your house.
Posted on: Tue, 22 Oct 2013 08:11:12 +0000
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