Call me Austin. I was unlucky. I spent 28 weeks in bootcamp for injuries. But I saw some hilarious stuff. We had one recruit, and thank God I wasnt his squad leader, who absolutely refused to stick with his battle buddy. Ever. He was a turd. So, as punishment, the Drill Instructors took an ammo can, filled it with sand, painted a face on it and called it the buddy buddy. Oh, yes. This recruit had to have his battle buddy with him at all times. It didnt last too long. But on the first night during hygiene inspection, this kid got on line and starting the absolutely retarded nightly ritual of bootcamp every Marine alive today knows. When they got to this kid it went like this: ZER-OO!! our Senior Drill Instructor screamed. Freeze or die!! the whole platoon responded. ...Where is our battle buddy, you DISGUSTING thing? BEHIND THIS RECRUITS RACK, SIR! Hello, is that where the Battle Buddy belongs? Nn- Nope, zero. Go get it. And of course, the recruit retrieved the ammo can, and placed it on line. Zero! ...Eyeballs. Click, Sir! Hello, did we hygiene the Battle Buddy? Senior Drill Instructor Sgt ------- asked. There was that stupid giggling you only ever hear on line in a squad bay with those stupid attempts by the entire platoon not to laugh. Lips were bitten, faces turned red, and chests heaved trying as hard as we could not to laugh. There was silence. Who wants to tell their Senior they didnt do something, even if it was never instructed. ...Th-this recruit- Shut up. The Battle Buddy needs to be hygiened too! Every one of you will wash your nasty bodies, ya understand? HYGEINE THE BATTLE BUDD-YYY! HYGEINE THE BATTLE BUDDY, AYE AYE, SIR!! REEEEEEEEAAAAADY?! MOOOOOVE! LETHAL! Yep, they made him hygiene his ammo can. The ammo can was washed, had his teeth brushed, and they even wrapped a hygiene towel around the ammo can as part of the inspection. And we waited the whole time.
Posted on: Thu, 05 Jun 2014 03:00:18 +0000
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