Can lightning strike twice? Thrice? I submit that it is not only possible, but... quite possible. This is a story about love and loss. I was called into work this evening to address the onslaught of tickets which continued their relentless climb, much like a modern day Tower of Babel, ever reaching to heights thus-far unseen. I reached my desk much like Sam and Frodo upon reaching the base of Mount Doom; dehydrated, irritable, and ready to stab anyone who even mentioned Lembas. Unlike the aforementioned heros, I had the ability to gain the sustenance needed to soldier on. I approached my nemesis: The Vending Machine. However, I was not there for a delicious combination of carbohydrates, protein, and MSG - Nay. I was there for one purpose, and one purpose only. I needed a Monster. I purchased my energy without an incident. Like the victim of a violent crime, I felt the sudden urge to look my previous enemy in the eye. I took three steps to my right, and braced myself for what might be before my waking eyes. As you can see in the first picture, someone had reached the same disgusting fate as I had merely hours before, only they were unable to free their prize as I was. Enraged at this repeated mockery of justice, I immediately vowed not be bested by this hunk of pleasantly chilled metal again. I proceeded to rock the machine with all my might, but to no avail. It was beyond my aid. Suddenly, an idea leaped into my mind! I could purchase the morsel behind this, and thus swindle the machine with a Two-for-One purchase! Much like Kelly Clarkson, I took a risk, took a chance, paid some change and paid-away. My plan was of the sound variety, but the burrito gods would not be so easily hoodwinked. As seen in the second picture, the hidden packaging would not be so easily removed from its captor. In a freak collision of Anthropomorphism and Stolkholm syndrome, the Chicken and Cheesy delicacy clung to its gadget of distribution like pre-seclusion Elsa. It just couldnt... Let It Go.(I cant even) Humbled and $3 poorer, I returned to my desk. I drank my soda and placed the changas in the freezer. I couldnt bring myself to eat them after this defeat. All I can say is, Touche, Vending Machine. You win this round.
Posted on: Sun, 04 Jan 2015 05:33:24 +0000
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