Chatting to a friend I verbalized what I have been feeling for a while. I feel much better but my process of loosing André has not been finished. It just has a new dimension where the pain is not consciously present all the time. Im learning to live by trying to get to know myself better. I am still madly in love, but this relationship is silent, special and the search to what and who I am, my happenings is also more silent as well. That is part of the reason for disappearing from FB for longer periods. Is just the task of living a different process that ask me to analyzed more while work on my daily routine. I hope you dont take this as me forgiving the love you have given me. I could never forget that. I am looking for more connections with each of you individually so I hopefully continue to grow. I will keep loving you, and I will continue to love Andre. I am looking for intimacy, so that I can present myself to you and thank your love for me, one-on-one. There is so much work to do. One year was not enough. But I cherish every step of this new year. I miss you, but I also need to learn and believe on your unconditional love regardless of not having ever present my writings in mass. I just want to love you more, by getting to love me more. This is my stage. This is my current stage of my process. This is how today can love you. Sorry if I made some worry. Im OK. Im loving, I am living. Love then live. -Amílcar Gingras.
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 00:26:05 +0000
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