Children love and thrive on routine, rhythm and generally spending time doing that which they’ve already mastered and feels familiar and comfortable to them. And at the same time children are inherently driven to keep learning and exploring new territory, and adapting to change. Yet they like to explore from a safe and secure place, which they mostly achieve when they feel looked after by someone who they know is intently focused on their wellbeing. This is why it’s very important to be a bridge to help your child build the connection and trust with a new person in a new environment. Your child takes their cues from you about who is safe and who isn’t, so rather than expecting your child to do all the work of forming new bonds on their own, be right in there with them (if needed) helping the flow of communication, helping your child share their thoughts and feelings, helping the other person get to know your child. Young children need to be with attachment figures, someone who is making it clear that they want to truly bond. This means that this is a person that your child can feel confident about accessing their needs from, someone they have discovered is truly tuned in to them, cares about them and will patiently help them adapt to their newer environment or activities. At times of change a child will attempt to draw all that they need from the person and people who love and care for them the most. Being accepting of a child’s needs being higher than usual, including being more emotionally vulnerable and trusting that meeting their extra needs for connection, closeness, warmth, encouragement and listening is mostly what’s needed. Independence grows from the strong foundation of a child’s dependent needs being met. ~ Genevieve
Posted on: Thu, 04 Sep 2014 10:47:36 +0000
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