Christmas Observations #5 1) I have being seeing a TV commercial for TJ Maxx, Home Goods and Marshalls claiming that they are the place to get the perfect, unexpected gift for your loved one. The last shot is one of kayak being giving. Really, a Kayak in TJ Maxx? Maybe some underwear or a suitcase, but Ive never seen a kayak at a Marshalls. 2) Enough with the jingle bells already. This time of year, I just keep the jingle bells in the car full time for sessions. And by the way, producers and recording artists, it sounds out of context to my ears to hear jingle bells on the older religiously directed songs. Its the little drummer boy, not the little jingle bell guy. Oh Holy Night sounds ridiculous with jingles bells. Its more of a secular thing. Go for it on Sleigh Ride and the song named after the instrument itself. But, Silent Night and jingle bells is like eating pickle cake with mustard vinegar ice cream, with arsenic sauce, to quote Mr. Grinch. 3) Walmart seems to somehow always commandeer the Homeland Security mobile watch tower for the holidays. Is Walmart somehow more of a soft target than Target. I mean, after all, Target has an actual target on it, and their brand color scheme is red and white year round. 4) Can anyone actually drive a car with a big bow on the hood? Is it magnetic, and can it withstand interstate wind speeds of up to 80mph? That would be a Christmas Miracle. 5) How can Rudolf have a red electric nose? Did he escape from Dr. Moreaus North Pole outpost where he had been cross bred with an electric eel or the creepy deep sea fish that has its own light source to catch other fish? 6) Santa must be able to direct all his multiverse counterparts to this universe for Christmas Eve. This could explain some of the odd gifts we receive. I have often received a stomach virus for Christmas. 7) No one really ever talks about Mrs. Claus. Is she just a beard for the jolly old elf? 8) As lighting technology advances as well as lighting controllers, will people be having more seizures at Christmas Lighting Exhibits? Or will seizures be more likely to an allergic reaction to Mannheim Steamroller? Im betting the latter.
Posted on: Tue, 23 Dec 2014 22:12:13 +0000
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