Clingy children-what to do: So, theyve been off school or nursery for a couple of weeks or more, and now you know youre going to have your little one (or maybe not so little) clinging to you when they have to go back next week. This is a really tough, emotionally charged situation and tricky to say honestly who it is more upsetting for, you or them. First of all, take comfort from knowing that this happens with all children at some point, most often in the primary school years, but can occur at pre-school or secondary and would not be at all unusual. If you know from previous experience that they are likely to get upset try to shield them from all the getting ready activities (new uniform, pencil cases etc) in the few days before. Either manage with what you have or next term get them before they break up. I am not suggesting that nobody talks about school as that would be unrealistic, but keep chats to a minimum and as bright and breezy as possible, moving swiftly on with a distraction. The day before try to involve your child in setting their clothes, shoes, school bag out; but perhaps earlier in the day so that it is not a shock just before bedtime. Listen to their fears, reflect them back to your child so that they know you have really heard but then try to spend as little time as possible fixing them. The reason for this is that you do not want your child to see you really consider the worry as it gives it more credence and if they are really very anxious the fear will be replaced with another until you are going round in circles. For the same reason, I advise against star charts or rewards as this gives the child the message that you are also anxious for them to go in without tears and yet you know it is such a difficult obstacle for them you will reward them if they do. When you get there, speed is of the essence, regardless of how they behave. Reassure your child, try to remind them of something positive that is happening after school, give them a hug but then take them in and leave as soon as you can. If the school is understanding it can be really helpful, in the short-term, to get there very early and take your child into the classroom to leave them there rather than the playground or at the door. After school again listen but do not try to offer solutions and move on to other subjects as soon as you can. And for you, try to find an absorbing distraction so that you are not worrying about your little one and a sympathetic parent to cry on who has been through the same situation and understands. It doesnt last for ever, but is very upsetting and difficult while you are going through it. https://facebook/littlechickenparenting
Posted on: Fri, 02 Jan 2015 20:07:47 +0000