*** Confession Time*** So in putting together slides of my past and present I stumbled upon photos that i really cant even remember taking of myself but man did i need to see them . In the three pictures of me in the bathroom (taken in early spring) I can honestly say I have never seen a more honest set of photos of how i looked and felt about myself. Looking into my eyes I see embarrassment, hatred, sadness for those I had lost and the depression for who I was currently and the slipper slope of who I was becoming. Seeing this actual made me cry for the first time in a long time because I know how broken that person was and the thin thread of life and hope he was clinging to. With that said you then two pictures. One of Me at the gym and one of myself and my girlfriend Kirsten at her first success training. There are two different people in those pictures. The second one doesnt know what it means to give up, to let fear and sadness rule the mind, to linger in trials and challenges, but he overcomes them and sees them as character defining opportunities. This new me still carries the physical evidence of his past self. The man who used eating as comfort, the man who retreated from conflict, the man that did not let truth flow from his mind and mouth and that allowed full trust and faith in others to be something that could never be achieved. Love for himself and confidence in what he wanted to accomplish in life seemed but a dream within a dream. But that is simply all that it is now is physical evidence of a past person. The body is like a structure under renovation and people will not see the final surface features till the final stages of the journey but so much more has taken place behind the scenes and in the deep places of the mind. I have become a new person! I have put to rest the demons of the past and brought along that which makes me a better person! I have gratitude for both the good and the bad and realize that where i stand in life is the culmination of all that has occurred to me. Without these challenges, obstacles, loss of friends and mistakes on my part I would not have lessons to teach people. I would not have the strength to endure new things try to hinder my success while also supporting others that i love and care about! The person in these newer pictures is far more the man that i want to be and is a hell of alot more closer to the man i want to become. There is always more improvement to be made but man what a great reminder of how much has already been accomplished. This is why I train and work so hard and why I love reaching out to others to lend a helping hand in the journeys of their lives. Being a wellness coach and a mentor to ever person that allows me to be apart of their life is one of the most rewarding things i could ask for. I get to be that helping hand that I never allowed myself to ask for. I get to be empowered and pushed to be a greater person each day. I get to learn lessons and wisdom from others that is well beyond my years and truly know what it means to live and love everyday. Yes I am down 61 lbs and in the best shape of my life but it is always important to remember that the mental weight lost is a far greater load. Within the past couple months I have achieved goals for which I thought would never come to fruition. I graduated college, I ran my first 5k (in freezing cold while sick, man was i tested mentally ), I set the goal of doing a triathlon in 2015. It is too true that if you change your mindset you change your life and man have I changed. I now will not settle for less than i deserve in any aspect of life and I am going to achieve all that I set out to do! I will live oh will I live! I will experience every great thing that life has to offer and to appreciate ever breathe in each day that I take! There will be no regret anymore about who I am and where Im headed! Its gonna be an exciting and purpose driven life with great challenges and rewards and Im so stoked to live it!
Posted on: Tue, 13 Jan 2015 18:37:51 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015