Confession Time: Yes, I can get moody at times... Those who dont really know me can think Im acting uppity, sometimey or janky... No... Thats not it. More often than not, its something like this: 1) Im simply struggling under the weight of the call on my life. When youre called to shift nations and cover people who are called to shift nations, that can be a heavy load to bear at times. It requires much prayer and worship to stay closely connected with Father, a constant attitude of humility, self-examination and repentance (a change of mindset) to bring about growth when needed. 2} Im striving against my own soul as Im being broken against the Rock of My Salvation. Literally, there are times when our only option is to obey God, when we have to earthy idea how or fleshly desire to do so. Thats where the wrestling begins and it always ends with you crying, I Give Up, Lord! Have Your Way In Me! Even so, its a process of dying to self, over and over and over again, and being on a death-walk is no fun at all!!! 3) Im in the midst of a heavenly download that can sometimes take hours, days, weeks to receive and process. This can be a very intense season, as Im literally moving in and out of two world, spiritual and natural, while trying to stay connected and relevant in both. On the outside, it can look like Im sitting and doing nothing for hours or days, wasting time and not making any progress. When in fact, Im in deep communication with Father, Angels, Spirits of Heaven and again, in deep thought within my own soul as Im working to make all the necessary adjustments to incorporate all the new that has to be meshed with the old. Shifting is what I like to call it. Oftentimes, its difficult to explain what no one else can see, especially when you dont yet understand it yourself. So the process to bring it to a format that can be shared and acted upon takes time. 4) Then there are times Im just tired. Mind weary, soul weary, spirit weary because Ive been in deep intercession or Ive been standing for someones healing and deliverance or ministering to others for hours at a time. And there are days and days Ive gone without sleep. Just because I get into bed and turn off the light doesnt mean that heaven has shut down until morning! The word does say that He who watches over Israel neither slumbers or sleeps... So there are times when Holy Spirit wants to talk late over into the night and on into the morning. When Ive been through these types of things for an extended time, the Lord will shut me down to give me a chance to get renewed and rejuvenated. In the natural, the expression on my face will clearly read... No... I dont feel like talking, right now. So just back off. I dont mean any harm... Im overloaded and I just cant deal at the moment... 5) There are also times when I need direction on specific course of action that has very serious repercussions. When I need to make decisions and choices to which I have no clear answer on what to do, rather than act in uncertainty, I will wait on God until He speaks, no matter how long that takes. 6) Truthfully, there are times I am upset, angry, frustrated, stressed and/or pissed to the highest levels of pissivity! And since I dont want to burn any bridges, destroy relationships, curse Gods anointed, break fellowship with Father or ruin my testimony, I choose to step away from the potential fray until I can determine how Father would have me handle the situation. So its never just an attitude... Especially when youre dealing with someone who is called of God and heavily anointed. I hope this helps those in my life and those who are connected with someone in ministry who behaves like this. Yes, we can be difficult to deal with, complicated and even moody. But its not personal... Its a process. Pray for me.. Pray for those like me. We need it!
Posted on: Sat, 27 Sep 2014 19:19:54 +0000
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