Crew Slut [Act I] But one night, at the Social Club meeting Mary didnt show up... She was sucking cock backstage at The Armory In order to get a pass To see some big rock group for free... [SCENE FOUR] [CREW SLUT] Backstage at the local Armory, MARY, in her little white dress, is wiping the remnants of her performance off the side of her mouth as LARRY (the guy from the garage who quit the band in order to make an honest living) zips up the front of his stinking boiler suit and sings to the same teen-age girls who were stomping and clapping a little while ago, as they kneel with their little pink mouths open near the crew bus, hoping to save the price of admission by performing acts of Hooverism on the jolly lads who set up the P. A. System. [LARRY:] Hey Hey Hey all you girls in these Industrial towns I know youre probly gettin tired Of all the local clowns They never give you no respect They never treat you nice So perhaps you oughta try A little friendly advice And be a CREW SLUT Hey, you ll love it Be a CREW SLUT Its a way of life Be a CREW SLUT See the world Dont make a fuss, just get on the bus CREW SLUT Add water, makes its own sauce Be a CREW SLUT So you dont forget, call before midnite tonite The boys in the crew Are fust waiting for you You never get to move around You never go nowhere I know yer probly gettin tired Of all the guys out there You always wondered what its like To go from place to place So, darlin, take a little ride On the mixers face Be a CREW SLUT Just follow the magic footprints Be a CREW SLUT Hey, youll love it! Be a CREW SLUT Its a way of life I aint gonna squash it And you dont need to wash it! CREW SLUT Hey, Ill buy you a pizza CREW SLUT Of course Ill introduce you to Warren The boys in the crew Are only waiting for you At this point, the road crew, as all road crews must from time to time, borrow some of the big rock groups equipment and have a blues jam session, indicating to the kneeling maidens that they are endowed with a great deal of raw talent, as well as massive meat. Obviously impressed with LARRYS ability to suck so hard on his harmonica that screeching little noises come out of it, MARY kneels again and reaches upward in gestures of supplication, listening intently as LARRY continues to sing... [LARRY:] Well you been to Alabama, girl, N Georgia too N all the boys in thecrew Is bein good to you I know yer sayin to yourself This is the way to go Cause when you need a little extra They will give you some mo Cause youre the CREW SLUT [MARY:] Im into leather... [LARRY:] That s good! A lot of the boys in the crew Love leather... [MARY:] And rubber... [LARRY:] Yeh, they like rubber too... shrink- tubing With a hair dryer... [ROAD CREW CHORUS:] Trade your spot on the bench For a guy with a wrench [MARY:] Ha ha ha... [LARRY:] You like that, huh? I told you youd love it... Its a way of life! [ROAD CREW CHORUS:] The guys in the crew Have got a present for you! [MARY:] A present for me? [LARRY:] We got a present for you! [MARY:] Whaddya got? Whaddya gonna give me? [LARRY:] It looks just like a TeleFunken U-47 Youll love it... [MARY:] With leather? [CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER:] Eherrr, eh eh...This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER again... And so MARY was enticed away from Joe By an evil barbarian with a wrench in his pocket Lured into a life of SLEAZERY With the entire road crew of some Famous Rock Group (I dont know whether it was Toad-O... I dont know... Ill check it out) Again we see MUSIC Causing BIG TROUBLE! youtu.be/6VOa9IZ86Ak
Posted on: Wed, 29 Oct 2014 21:10:15 +0000