DECEMBER 18, 2014 Im Worried About My Childs Future LYSA TERKEURST We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9 (NLT) Have you ever felt pressured to ensure your childs success in school because you thought it meant success in life? A couple of years ago I overheard my daughter Hope telling a friend she was glad I didnt get all worked up over grades. Not trying to be nosey but totally wanting to be nosey, I kept listening. She explained that she and her siblings were expected to do their best, but in the end, as long as they worked hard, my husband Art and I were okay with whatever grade they received. For the most part, thats right. This hasnt always been the case. When Hope started kindergarten, I felt compelled to help her succeed. I felt enormous pressure because I believed success in school meant success in life, and I wanted to set my child up for success. She was a bright and articulate child. But all through kindergarten, she couldnt read. Then came first grade. All of the other kids in her class were reading with ease. Not my daughter. I panicked. I had her tested. I worried constantly that I must be doing something wrong as her mother. In the end, it was a readiness issue. When she was ready, she starting reading. Then along came my next child, who was reading at 4 years old. Finally Id done something right, I reasoned. But then child number three came along, and she was my slowest reader yet. Through all of this, God started to untangle the misperception that success in school determines success in life, and as a parent, it is up to me to push, plead, demand and determine my childs future. Slowly, I realized God has a plan for each of my kids. As long as Im depending on the Lord to guide me as a parent, nothing I do or dont do will mess up their futures. Im reassured of this with our key verse, Proverbs 16:9, We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps. As their parent, its my job to guide them, but worldly success shouldnt be the ultimate goal. My guiding should focus on leading them into a relationship with God, where Hell make their path straight, no matter what their grades are. This revelation has provided such freedom. I can celebrate when one of my kids excels in a subject, trusting that particular success is needed for whatever God intends for them in life. If, however, a child struggles and cant grasp a certain subject — well, thats also part of Gods direction. Of course, working hard, doing your best and being a conscientious student is important. But in our home, grades are not the ultimate determination of success. This child may never make marks in school that the world esteems, but giving her freedom to excel as God has designed her is already paying off. She has an eternal perspective thats more valuable for her future than any academic accolades. Im convinced her struggles in school are actually Gods way of keeping her on the path Hes had for her since she was conceived. Hope was conceived only four months into our very rough start of a marriage. Art and I were two broken sinners thrust into the responsibility of trying to raise a child. The day Hope was born I saw God like never before. His tender grace was handed to me wrapped in a pink blanket with eyes so wide, so blue, they were a sea of forgiveness forever staring back at me. Id never physically touched God until that day. And maybe for the first time in my entire life, His hope rushed inside of me and started rearranging and redeeming my brokenness. Hope. We named her Hope. Now, we wont talk about the conversations I had with God when His Hope kept me up in the middle of the night for months after that. And we will save the story of how His Hope has always felt it was beneath her to be the child, and she would put her hands on her toddler hips and tell me not to boss her. Well save those stories for another day. But Ill never forget an e-mail I got from His Hope while she was on a mission trip. Hope was walking the broken roads of Ethiopia navigating poverty her mind couldnt quite process. She bumped into sheep and a woman whose house was made of cardboard and ripped bed sheets. Hopes steps were steady, though her heart felt shaky as she loved on 30 kids dying of AIDS in a forgotten orphanage on the forgotten outskirts of town. She wrote to say, Mom, Ive fallen in love. The kids rushed at me when I walked in and I tried to hold all 30 of them at one time. His Hope. From a broken mama. Into a broken world. His Hope is still going forth like only His Hope can. All that to say, yeah — I dont get all worked up over grades anymore. Trusting Gods plan is the only secret I know in the gentle art of not freaking out. Dear Lord, thank You for Your truth that says You determine our steps. Help me to remember that when Im anxious over my childs future. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Posted on: Fri, 19 Dec 2014 04:12:45 +0000
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