DR. BOBS DAILY: BABY WHISPERER? HOW ABOUT BABY STARVER-ER Sorry for missing Dr. Bobs Daily yesterday. I wrote and re-wrote this post, because I was torn as to whether or not to even put it up. Its a touchy subject, and an unfortunate situation. So it took me all day. I think youll see what I mean after you read it. Here goes: Ive seen three breastfed babies fail to thrive from following a feeding style called Eat, Wake, Sleep. I thought the first case was just a fluke. The second, and I started to wonder. Now Ive just seen a third, and Im pissed. Before I proceed on my rant, allow me to apologize to the author and publisher of the baby whisperer book, because I know that she did NOT purposely intend to starve babies. AND, I am sure that the book makes it very clear that parents should routinely have their babies weighed to insure they are growing well, and if they are not growing well they need to discuss how to increase feedings with their doctor. I will also admit that I havent read the book, so I dont know first hand what the book says. I am just relating to you what this third mom and dad told me about the book, and what the first two patients told me as well. But the description of the book on Amazon makes it pretty clear what its about: How to get baby to eat, play, and sleep on a schedule that will make every member of the households life easier and happier. WTF? I want to state very clearly that I hold nothing against parents who choose to follow an eat, wake, sleep program, or any parenting plan type of book. Such decisions are your choice. No one knows your child better than you, and the only person who should decide how to parent is the person who shared the umbilical cord with that baby, and the other person who helped make the baby. So, if deciding to follow a more scheduled plan type of parenting approach feels right to you, then maybe its right for you and your child. Freedom - its what makes America tick. The purpose of this rant is to simply point out one danger of following a plan too strictly. Here goes: Eat, Wake, Sleep. Its the complete opposite of what babies are born to do, in my opinion. Of course, my opinion could be wrong. But most newborns that Ive seen have the following pattern: eat, sleep, eat, wake, eat, wake, sleep, sleep, eat, sleep, eat, eat, sleep, wake, wake, eat, sleep, eat, sleep . . . you see the pattern? Neither do I, because there IS no pattern. Babies simply eat when they need to, and they usually fall asleep at the end of a feeding. They wake up an hour later and want to feed again. Hey, this time maybe they stay awake after they feed, maybe they dont. Eat again, then fall asleep. Sleep for four hours, then wake up and eat for two. Sleep again, wake up. Eat. They just do whatever they are supposed to do in whatever pattern they want to do it. So, what do I think happens when a baby is trained into the Eat, Wake, Sleep cycle? Ooops, I just checked out the blurb on Amazon about the book again, and I see its the Eat, PLAY, Sleep cycle. That sounds a little more fun. Whatever. Ok, they eat. They get drowsy at the end of the feeding. They are kept awake until they get their second wind. Dont you dare let that baby fall asleep while nursing because, despite the fact that babies have been doing just that for 5000 years, NOW we know better. Keep that baby up to play for another hour or more. Then they fall asleep for an hour or two, but without feeding again. Then they wake up hungry two hours later and start all over again. Sounds harmless? Heres why I figured out my patient wasnt gaining weight: Baby fed for maybe thirty minutes. Then baby was kept awake for about an hour, hour and a half. Then baby was allowed to go to sleep for about two hours (without another feed). Then baby wakes up and is hungry and starts it all over again. If you do the math, youll realize that this baby is only nursing every 3 1/2 to 4 hours. Plus, theres longer stretches at night. Babys only nursing about 6 times each 24 hour period. The baby went from 25% on the breastfeeding growth curve at birth down to 10% at two months and is now well below the bottom line of the curve at six months. Thats when they came to me for a second opinion. Their pediatrician had told them baby wasnt getting enough nutrition, and they needed to nurse more often. And these were really good parents. They seemed very smart, very loving, very concerned about their baby. They couldnt for the life of them figure out why their baby wasnt growing despite seeming to be very happy. And this baby actually looked pretty good to me. He was happy. He was slim, but happy. These are great, attached parents - they just picked up the wrong book. It took me about 10 minutes to figure out why this baby wasnt growing. Essentially, the baby was put to sleep right about the time when hunger should start to set in and the next feeding should commence (about 1 1/2 to two hours after the previous feeding). Baby is spending two hours sleeping while hungry, wakes up starving - eats really well, but goes through the same cycle day in and day out. The baby was essentially eating half as often as he should. Babies, instead, are supposed to eat, drift off to sleep (cuz thats what breastfeeding does to a baby), sleep for about an hour or hour and a half, then wake up hungry again and ready to eat. Babies are supposed to nurse every hour and a half to two hours. About 12 times in 24 hours. Baby gets plenty to eat, mom keeps a full milk supply, baby thrives, and everything is fine. Thats nature. Thats supply and demand. Thats feeding on cue at its best. Oh no! Wait! Everything is NOT fine. This baby is going to become too dependent on mom. God forbid that a baby should need its mother! Now the baby is going to learn to associate falling asleep with eating. Soon baby will only fall asleep if nursed, and moms going to get stuck raising the baby. Thats not how its supposed to be! Enter the baby whisperer, or baby wise, or growing kids gods way, or any other type of baby-training program. Because you cant raise a baby on your own. You cant follow your own instincts and intuition. You need a book to do it for you. Hey, it works for horses, why not babies! These books are guaranteed to help you raise a baby that will need you less, so you can have more free time to make more babies. As the good book promises on Amazon, It will make every member of the households life easier and happier. I cant, for the life of me, understand why people would try to alter the natural course of a babys day. Its supposed to be eat, sleep, THEN play (or eat again first, then play). Its not supposed to be Eat, Play, Sleep. The simple fact that you have to train a baby to do it is the first clue about how unnatural it is. Why would such a book even exist? It must be that most babies that follow this do fine. Maybe most moms milk supplies stay adequate. Maybe most babies are happy, sleep well, get enough to eat, grow well, and do just fine. Maybe Im seeing the few exceptions that dont do well. I dont know. All I do know is that it doesnt make sense to me. Am I wrong? Do most Eat, Play, Sleep babies do completely fine? Do their moms keep a full milk supply for the recommended two years? Do they stay on the medium to high end of the growth curve? If so, then I take back everything Ive said here. So Ive probably offended anyone who finds this approach worked well for them. So, sorry. But you know, this is my blog. This is about sharing my feelings and frustrations as a doctor, husband, father, man, etc. So, I get to say whatever I want. Hey, Ill probably cut these past five paragraphs out anyway, tone it down a bit, so you wont be offended. Then again, maybe I wont. If I have offended, I would love to hear from you - let me have it. I probably deserve it. If you are offended, I would ask you to re-read paragraphs three through five. And understand that my main point here isnt that your parenting choices are wrong. It is to watch closely to make sure a baby is gaining enough wait no matter what type of approach you take. Im not so much coming down on the parenting style as I am coming down on what can result if its followed too strictly. And this point goes to all styles of parenting. I emphasize it with the Eat, Wake, Sleep plans because those plans purposefully reduce the number of feedings in a day. But it can happen in any situation. So, whats the point? Dont buy books that tell you how to raise your baby, unless its a book that tells you to FIRST follow your own intuition. If you intuitively feel like your baby should eat, wake, sleep, because YOU feel its good for you and your baby, not just because a book told you its good for your baby, AND your baby gains weight well, then thats fine. Ive no problem with that. Point two - dont assume that just because you are breastfeeding that everything is going to be perfect and your baby will automatically get plenty to eat. Weight checks and growth curves are there for a reason. Growth curves are now based solely on breastfed babies. They are accurate. If a baby is declining on the curve, it may simply be genetics and all is fine. But it might be because baby isnt feeding enough and moms milk supply is declining. Point three - failure to thrive can happen in ANY type of parenting approach, including attachment parenting. Ive seen babies fail to thrive because parents are too relaxed about feeding on cue. Some babies are so relaxed and laid back that they only ask to feed 6 times a day. Parents may follow cue-feeding too strictly and a baby may fail to thrive. Ive never seen such babies fall so far below the curve and the eat, wake, sleepers, however. And when a feeding plan purposely reduces the number of feedings? Im not ok with that. Point four - in any failure to thrive situation, remember to ask the parents what book they are reading. Are they following a baby-training book? If so, that may be the root of the problem. But it also may not. Assess the entire situation. Weigh the baby. Ask about stool health (this babys stools went from yellow seedy in the first couple months to dark green and muddy for the past four months - a very clear sign of inadequate intake). I just had to throw this out there. I couldnt let it rest. Why do such books exist? I know that even our Sears books lay out what we think is best for babies. But how do WE even know? Nobody can know except each mom and dad who birthed that baby. If you want to whisper cute things to something, get a horse. If you want every member of the households life to be easier, dont get a baby. Babies take work. Finally, if I am totally wrong about this approach, and youve had a great experience with it, I would love to hear from you. It would be good to know if some babies do thrive on this without moms losing their milk supply and succeed with long-term breastfeeding. Lemme know what you all think. Dr. Bob
Posted on: Thu, 16 Oct 2014 15:04:07 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015