Damn it; here I am chilling by the pool with the gorgeous Sharkettes and my pager is blowing up!!! Post the recap Sharky……when are you posting it….I can’t believe that crap on the WCCW page…what really happened! OMFG! Fine folks, I’ll take time out of my busy schedule to break it down for you….jeeez! Here is the shit that went down at WCCW arena on August 3rd. Santa Claus (played by Santa), The Magical Leprechaun (played by TJ Lightning) and Mr. Oneree (played by the WCCW Ref) came out and set up the ring for a contract signing; WCCW offered The Castle Brothers a 12 month contract, which they quickly signed. I did overhear Cody say he was quitting his job at the actual White Castle but I wouldn’t do that so quickly. Next up, TJ Lightning asks for the NEW WCCW Champion, Ravishing Ronnie Roberts to come out. I was waiting for balloons and confetti…maybe even a band! BUT NOOOOOOO, all we got was TJ’s power trip. TJ fined Roberts a huge amount, suspended him for two weeks and threatened to do even more! I’m not sure that is how you treat your company’s best performer. In the first match, we saw Brian Lawless get the pin by dropping Sean Bane in the Acid Trip, but the bigger story was Lexxi, the new girl and Black Rain at ringside. We need a name for this new girl, from now on, I’m calling her the Female Terminator. There are clearly some issues there and I personally would like to see Lexxi VS The Female Terminator….in pudding. Seriously guys, the fans want a pudding match. I’d even settle for Tapioca at this point. I do have to admit though, Bane controlled most of the match and probably would have gotten the win but Lexxi got a little too excited; it happens to Jimmy Lamb all the time. The Voice wasn’t done though as Purple Haze was out and looking for an opponent, as well as making fun of Mr. Oneree for not being allowed to ref his matches. The only guy in the back was the janitor, so they threw some tights on him and named him Kevin Star; however Haze ran through him in the most exciting match in WCCW history. While Haze was hitting super kick after super kick, the main story was, again, outside of the ring. Black Rain had Lexxi in a dog collar and tied her up and forced her to watch the way a valet is suppose to handle business. Haze got the win with a super kick that literally knocked Star’s ponytail off; I’m sure if he comes back, he’ll have a weave because that ponytail went flying into the crowd. I overheard one of those redneck chicks in the front row planned to glue it to her Brooklyn Brawler love doll so it would have real hair. Next up was something I’m not use to seeing, Apollo got a victory over Ironman Cody Matthews fair and square and then basically ran out of the arena before Matthews could get up; I guess he’s done his homework and knew what was coming. Next up was a decent match between Bob Murdoch and Chris Majors and even though Majors got a win; he was way too focused on the USA Champ, Brandon Taggart. Hell, Majors made a huge mistake by even saying Taggart’s name. It’s true, if you say Taggart’s name three times, he’ll appear and beat your ass….which is what happened. The next match I thought was pretty disrespectful by the current WCCW GM; after the Castle Brothers signed a 12 month contract, TJ put them in the ring with the Diamond Cartel and, in all seriousness; it was NOT pretty for those two kids. That is sort of my fault. Here’s the story…Scott Diamond and I were on in Vegas and it was around 3am and the limo driver had to make a pit stop, so the Diamond Dolls and the Sharkettes decided they wanted some White Castles. I got sick as hell, I mean, I was dying the next morning- ruined a hotel bathroom that ended up costing me over $1200, but that is another story. So, when I heard that the Castle Brothers (I call them The White Castles) were taking on The Diamond Cartel; I requested that they destroy them and, damn, did the Cartel deliver! I think Cody and Casey had maybe three offensive moves; The Cartel controlled the entire match and just ran through those poor kids; the match ended with a splash from Frank the Tank. I overheard they had to take Casey to the ER because there was nothing but a grease spot left. The main event was a Loser Wears A Diaper match between the KY State Champion and TJ Lightning and I find it a bit odd that TJ decided to suspend Ravishing Ronnie Roberts earlier in the show and banned him from coming back to the arena for two weeks…how convenient!!! The match was a decent back and forth, however, someone needs to get control of the “General Manager” TJ Lightning. TJ hit Stan Sierra, Frank the Tank and Scott Diamond for no reason at all and then hit ATM with a chain!! Why can’t ATM get a fair match when it comes to TJ? Not only that, TJ had to have the help of several of the guys from the back to finish off ATM and force him to wear a diaper; however, TJ went even farther and added a bib and pacifier, which wasn’t a part of the contract! Hopefully TJ suspends himself for two weeks. It was a great night of wrestling; however, I have spent several nights lying awake with cold sweets, very upset. Earlier in the night, Scott Diamond called out The Voice and requested a WCCW Tag Team Championship match; however, Black Rain broke Scott’s glasses and threw them at him. I hate when family fights and it kills me to see the good guys going at each other like that! You guys need to be beating up people like TJ, Kent Rogers and Apollo…not each other. I feel like a kid watching his parents go through a divorce!
Posted on: Wed, 07 Aug 2013 01:13:55 +0000
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