Darlins this was sent to me, and it should help those Monday Blues. Dont forget to shop at ovirginia to combat the maul this Cyber Monday ! Southerners know their summer weather report: Humidity Humidity Humidity Southerners know their vacation spots: The beach The rivuh The crick Southerners know everybodys first name: Honey Darlin Shugah Southerners know the movies that speak to their hearts: Fried Green Tomatoes Driving Miss Daisy Steel Magnolias Gone With The Wind Southerners know their religions: Bapdiss Methdiss Football Southerners know their cities dripping with Southern charm: Chawlstn Svanah Foat Wuth Nawlins Addlanna Southerners know their elegant gentlemen: Men in uniform Men in tuxedos Rhett Butler Southern girls know their prime real estate: The Mall The Country Club The Beauty Salon Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins: Having bad hair and nails Having bad manners Cooking bad food Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you dont HAVE them, you PITCH them. _____ Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up a mess. _____ Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of yonder. _____ Only a Southerner knows exactly how long directly is, as in: Going to town, be back directly. _____ Even Southern babies know that Gimme some sugar is not a request for the white, granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table. _____ All Southerners know exactly when by and by is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well. _____ Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor whos got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbors trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin! _____ Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between right near and a right far piece. They also know that just down the road can be 1 mile or 20. _____ Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol boy, and po white trash. _____ No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. _____ A Southerner knows that fixin can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb. _____ Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when were in line,... we talk to everybody! _____ Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover theyre related, even if only by marriage. _____ In the South, “yall” is singular, “all yall” is plural. _____ Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. _____ Every Southerner knows that tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; that scrambled eggs just ain’t right without Tabasco, and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food. _____ When you hear someone say, Well, I caught myself lookin, you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner! _____ Only true Southerners say sweet tea and sweet milk. Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. Sweet milk means you dont want buttermilk. _____ And a true Southerner knows you dont scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,Bless her sweet little heart... and go your own way. _____ To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southernness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your little heart! _____ And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff....bless your hearts, I hear they’re fixin to have classes on Southernness as a second language! _____ Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fah-evah !
Posted on: Mon, 02 Dec 2013 14:53:10 +0000
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