Day 5- She missed her calling. I am convinced that Ana Esther Saunders missed her calling in life. No doubt in my mind, she was supposed to be a shrink. But not the shrink youre thinking about. Im not talking about clinical psychiatry. Im talking about LAUNDRY. Ana is the QUEEN of shrinking my laundry. I cant tell you how many funerals Ive held with turtlenecks, sweaters, and bears. The same way the presence of the Lord can turn mourning into dancing, Ana has a unique anointing to turn baggy pants into skinny jeans, long sleeve shorts into tank tops, and Express men clothes into Baby Gap gear. Listen, I have determined after living with my beautiful queen, that some people are just not called to the laundry ministry. Some people have a SHRINK anointing. And the worst part is, when youve planned out your perfect outfit, and you grab what you thought was your turtleneck to go to the airport, and it looks like your daughters gear. I knew yall wouldnt believe me, so today, I have proof. SEE PICTURE BELOW. On the left, you see a man just trying to worship. Hes stretching his hands toward the Lord, but he cant go no higher or he will expose his chest to the church. By the way, my neck is under arrest. If handcuffs felt like this turtleneck on my body, I NEVER wanna go to jail. On the right, demo 2 you see the same man, trying to make it work anyway. When the SHRINK- master does her work, and he has no other black turtleneck to wear, and the store is all sold out, he takes the apparel, pretends to slide the sleeves up to his elbow (crazy thing is, they dont need to slide...thats where they live) and then he proceeds to pull down with STRONG STRENGTH the bottom layers of the infant turtleneck until it kisses the brim of his belt. He then performs a STEVE URKEL pants maneuver, in which the pants are higher than the mountains that I face, and stronger than the power of the grave. #worshipbreak Then, he realizes...after much travail and attempt that this isnt going to work, so he must grab a blazer, wear a black t-shirt underneath the infant turtleneck , and hope nobody sees the brim popping out like a cummerbund. #domenstillwearthose #stop Because the SHRINK has left the laundry room, he cant even tell her that his sweaters have died. So for some, he buries their remains in the Salvation Army. For others, especially the bereaved families of Banana Republic, Gucci, and Lacoste...he tries to preserve until the day of the Lords return. But instead of getting mad, He decides to turn his mess into a message; to turn his curse into a commercial. So if youre looking for anyone to make your XL a baby small, call my SHRINK. She has the POWER to make your bigger...better! #Day5withAna #shrinkandthink #Anasbirthdaymonth #inlovingmemorytotheshirtsthathavegonebeforeus
Posted on: Tue, 05 Nov 2013 10:56:51 +0000
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