Day 6: Books Most of my comfort and understanding of grief, fear, life, love, and eternity come from the word of God. And for a long time it was the only thing I could read in regards to Owen. Afterall, Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path. And lets face it we were in a dark time in our life (even if we could find the blessings in it all). I have a very close friend who would always put her bible under her bed during times when she felt the devil was against her or things werent quite right in her life. I had never done this but our first day in Gainesville, after Owen was out of surgery and wed seen him, I made Ed take me to a bookstore and we bought Owen a bible and we bought a bible to have with us while we were there. Owens immediately went under his incubator/crib and stayed there until we went home - except for the times we read him scripture from it at night. We kept ours under the head of the bed at the Ronald McDonald House and once we returned home I placed that same bible under the head of our bed where it was tonight when I pulled it out to take the photo. Its not my regular bible and I find the only time Ive pulled it out has been when Ive felt compelled to pray for my children (even when I had none here on Earth). You may notice the scribbling on the page - its turned to 1 Samuel where I prayed one night for Owen after hed passed and where I prayed for two more children. I wrote down their names and circled them 7 times like the walls of Jericho were circled 7 times. One of those babies I prayed for is resting soundly in her brothers old room right this moment. The other books I posted are special to me too. One, Mommy Please Dont Cry was given to me as a gift and it paints the most amazing portrait of what Heaven might really be like from the perspective of your child telling you its all going to be okay. Its definitely a tear-jerker but it also brought such peace to me. The other book Angel Unaware was shared to me by my mother. Its the story of Gods Plan for a little girl to only be here for a little while and how her purpose was always to return to heaven. I would have posted Heaven is for Real but Ive loaned it out. It was a wonderful book I just couldnt read it right away. Finally, I posted the book that will forever be Owens book - even though Elizabella and Mattie have copies of it too. On the Night You Were Born by Nancy Tillman is such a beautiful story about how heaven rejoices over your childs birth. I read this story almost every night to Owen. Sometimes Ed would talk me into reading something different but I really wanted him to hear every single day how precious he was and that there would never be another him in the world. The last time I read that story to Owen was at his funeral just before his father and I closed his casket and tucked him in for the final time - yet I know every time I read it to his sister he must be leaning just over the edges of heaven to listen to it again too. This one really got to me tonight. Thanks for sharing my journey. #captureyourgrief #whathealsyourheart #babyowenwesleyward #books
Posted on: Tue, 07 Oct 2014 04:33:39 +0000
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