Day Two without Hot Water Perestroika Im afraid the time for drastic measures is at an end. Most of the villagers in my apartment complex have taken to burning old tires and the homeless for warmth. Since there is a complete lack of dishwashing machinery at the old 1433, dishes have been piling up for day. I fear a revolt is nigh. Was it just three mornings ago I took for granted the warm comforts of gas-heated liquid falling rapidly from a spout? It couldnt be. It seems like a lifetime ago. Ive called all of my loved ones to tell them I love them. Life seems so fragile now, as if everything Ive ever loved or believed was taken from me with the failure of our complex water heater. A friend called me this morning, and I tried, TRIED to make it through the phone call without dragging them into this pit of despair as they prattled on about an issue with their employment. As if any of their problems could possibly overshadow the abyss of misery to which Ive been summarily subjected. not sure if Ill be able to afford COBRA...how will I pay my bills... Man! I screamed, Ive not been able to take a hot shower in my apartment for near two days now! Do you not understand the sheer torture and inhumanity Ive been forced to endure?! Im afraid my candor had left them silent. They were not ready to greet mortality even as I waved it in their stunned ear. This...and I hesitate to mention this...this morning was the low point of the entirety of my life on this precious Earth. I was forced to do something today the likes of which I cannot share with you, my delicate readers. For if I were to share it with you, you would lose control of your anger and rend asunder the evil bonds in which I am shackled. the event, though necessary, has scarred me to the point that I cannot speak of it now, nor possibly ever, the pain too great to bear. I ask for forgiveness to those who will inevitably suffer because of this, but please know that your suffering, while great, will not compare to the humiliation and degradation to which this morning I faced. Suffice it to say, the shower head in my frail mint green shower, which has asked nothing of me these last three hard years, may never forgive me. I can only hope time will heal the wounds I have caused. Winter is approaching. Let us hope...pray...that I will once again feel the warm, caring embrace of my defiled mint green shower. Perhaps one day I will be able to wash a dish without the swell of anger and loss of faith in humanity that has certainly overtaen my once hopeful ego. I sincerely wish for the day I can find the words of apology necessary to my WaterPik (tm) which, Ive no doubt, must think Ive taken another electrical flossing device as my own. Ive not, dearest WaterPik (tm). You are my one and my only. But the directions say I should only use warm water. I shudder to think of what youd think me were I to fill your loving cup with ice cold water. Farewell, gentle readers. I can only hope my pain has awakened in you a fire warm enough to GET THIS FREAKING WATER HEATER TO WORK.
Posted on: Wed, 12 Nov 2014 19:25:30 +0000
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