Dear G: How do I keep my tween from idolizing Miley Cyrus? Kay. I actually know this one. 1. Secretly download “We Can’t Stop.” Learn all the words. (Don’t feel bad if you kinda like it. It’s catchy) 2. Play it loud in your kitchen and sing loudly while twerking with your spouse. (This must be ACTUAL TWERKING. Twerk with abandon but without irony. Get into it. You have to actually TRY THE TWERK, FEEL THE TWERK, or this plan won’t work.) 3. During the riffs without words- STICK OUT YOUR TONGUE. A LOT OF TONGUE ACTION. WITH FEELING. THINK GENE SIMMONS. 4. After the song is over- talk about how EPIC Miley is. Mention to your spouse that you’re planning to get tix to her next show for both of you. 5. Allow your tween to accidentally see all of this. That should do it. It worked for us. IF FOR SOME REASON THIS BACKFIRES - try to remember how much we loved Madonna and how certain our parents were that she was proof that everything was going to hell in a handbasket and how she would be the downfall of KIDS THESE DAYS. We’ll all be okay. We can do hard things. Like survive rock stars. Love, G
Posted on: Mon, 07 Oct 2013 00:34:09 +0000
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