Dearest Friends, In my younger days, as a star on the high school stage, I had the pleasure of working with many, less qualified and less talented people. And there was one fellow in particular, with a shock of blond hair and a bubbly personality that bordered on the criminally annoying, who seemed to have something beyond the merely mediocre. I taught him what I knew in regards to being a superstar and sent him on his way. As my star continued to dim due to events obviously beyond my control and a conspiracy of competitors to sully my burgeoning career, this young man continued to sharpen his skills and climb the ladders of success. Lo and behold, these many years later, he has managed to amass a total of 47 Emmy Awards, some for hosting a morning talk show in Kansas City in which it appears his sole job was to dampen the clothes of movie stars, comedians, and celebrity chefs with drool. And some others he presumably won for taking numerous photos as a leaping gnome. All of this, mind you, was earned despite being heavily medicated and perpetually inebriated. This year he managed to wander, or stumble, off with 8 more Emmys. Typically, I would, of course, make a public spectacle of congratulating him on each years awards. Alas, whether it be out of jealousy for his prodigious vertical leap (stubby goalkeepers get jealous about that stuff) or the fact that my career, like my apartment, has been engulfed by 18 inches of red mud, I have neglected to give this award-winner his props. So it is with clinched teeth and a healthy dose of both professional and personal envy, that I tip my mud-caked beret to you, Michael Mackie, for being the most famous guy I know with a vertical leap that high. In all seriousness, Michael, I know there has to be a fair amount of redemption in winning your awards this year and you will no doubt continue on to bigger and better things. Just so long as Im important enough in that big world of yours to be the guy to whom you look for recognition and acknowledgement, Ill allow it. Your envious friend, Mark
Posted on: Wed, 01 Oct 2014 16:33:44 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015