December 25, 2014 The Thursday Rant: “There’s something about Christmas” Friends: Merry Christmas and I hope you enjoy this sort of tongue in cheek 2013 Christmas column and the cameo appearance by rock start Bono of U2 in the youtube video link at the end: “First, Merry Christmas everyone! Yep, we said it. Not Happy Holidays, not Season’s Greetings and not Happy Winter Solstice. Merry Christmas. The reason we say Merry Christmas is because this is the time of year when the overwhelming majority of Americans, including many non-Christians, celebrate Christmas, the birth of Jesus Christ. What is it about Christmas that drives lefties wacky? Last night a Jewish fellow and commentator on Fox News named Bernie Goldberg claimed many American Christians want to establish a theocracy in the United States. He’s made the claim before and it’s such an astounding statement that the first time we let it pass. Rules has made a few whoppers over the years, so we’re in no place to “cast the first stone.” Ooops, there we go establishing a theocracy. Just kidding. Dear Bernie, we are an older, Conservative Evangelical Christian and we have never met a Christian who wants a theocracy. Ever. Honest. Evangelical Christians founded this country (and Christians still dominate it) and explicitly prohibited the establishment of religion. Don’t you realize you kind of sound like one of those white supremacist nut jobs, ranting about ZOG? There’s no doubt out of all the Christians and Jews in the country we can find a few wack jobs, but Christians no more want to establish a theocracy than Jews want to establish a “Zionist Occupation Government.” Relax Bernie, if anyone ever tries to, we’ll be standing right beside you, okay? Next, some white girl approached us at Walmart with a petition asking government to combine Kwanza and Martin Luther King Day into one event with Doctor King depicted as a turtle. Rules - “Are you nuts, kid?” Her - “No, but growing up I always felt left out because I’m a white girl, not a black man. Like white girls don’t have dreams and stuff? I mean, ‘I have a dream,’ you don’t have to be a black man.” Rules -“You’re a feminist, aren’t you?” Okay, we made that part up, but you can’t make up this kind of stuff. A black woman named Aisha Harris blogging for the far left website Slate doesn’t want Santa to be a white guy. “From here on out, Santa Claus should be a penguin,” she wrote. Her official rational is the white Santa hurt her feelings when she was a kid. Folks, in case you haven’t noticed, we have some racial tension in this country. In fact, according to a July 03, 2013 Rasmussen Reports poll, among black Americans, 31% think most blacks are racist, while 24% consider most whites racist. Rules - an old white guy - likes black kids because we like all kids and what the heck’s the difference? Recently, a teacher in New Mexico was suspended after asking a black kid who arrived dressed as Santa why he did that because Santa is white. You know who stood up for the kid and made a fuss? The kid’s Dad, who happens to be . . . White! With all that Polar Bear Hunting going on, with Harris thinking race slurs, “a melanin-deficient Santa,” are witty, maybe this generation is lost, but what better way to help heal racial divisions than to say to black kids, “Hey, old white guys like you. Every year one of them brings you presents.” So, this Christmas season there’s a sleigh full of good things for Americans. To Mr. Goldberg, peace of mind - no theocracy, honest. To America’s black kids, white guys like you so much that once a year one of us is going to sneak into your house and leave you a bunch of cool stuff. To all of us, not only the United States of America, the second greatest gift anyone has ever received, but also the wisdom to look around and compare her, not to perfection, but to the rest of world and then thank God.” But don’t take my word for it, watch this short video: youtube/watch?v=Tg3Xzh2cXD8 - this is the link Merry Christmas and thanks for playing along, Max josephmaxlewis
Posted on: Thu, 25 Dec 2014 15:26:13 +0000
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