Deer Hunting 2014 this weekend 1:00 AM - Alarm clock rings 2:00 AM - Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed 2:30 AM - Throw everything except kitchen sink into pickup 2:45 AM - leave for the woods 3:15 AM - Drive back and pick up guns 3:30 AM - drive 90 mph to arrive before dawn 4:00 AM - set up camp - find you forgot tent poles 5:00 AM - leave camp 6:10 AM- see 12 deer 6:11 AM - take aim and squeeze trigger (Click) 6:12 AM - load gun while watching deer go over hill 8 AM - head back for camp 9:00 AM - still heading for camp 10:00 AM - realize you dont know where camp is NOON - Fire gun for help - eat wild berries 12:15 PM - out of shells - 12 deer come back - strange feeling in stomach 12:30 PM - realize you ate poison berries 12:45 PM - rescued 1:00 PM - rushed to hospital to get stomach pumped 3:00 PM - arrive back at camp 3:30 PM - leave camp determined to kill deer!! 4:00 PM - Come back for shells 4:30 PM - leave camp with gun loaded 5:30 PM - empty gun on squirrel bugging you 6:00 PM - arrive at camp and see deer grazing in camp 6:01 PM - Load gun 6:02 PM - Fire gun 6:03 PM - 1 dead pickup 6:05 PM - partner comes dragging deer out of woods 6:06 PM - repress strong urge to kill partner 6:07 PM - stumble and fall into fire 6:08 PM - throw burned hunting clothes into fire 6:09 PM - Take pickup and leave partner and his deer in woods 6:25 PM - Pickup boils over - hole from shot in block 6:26 PM - start walking 6:35 PM - stumble and fall, drop gun 7:01 PM - meet bear 7:02 PM - take aim 7:03 PM - Fire gun, blow up barrel plugged with dirt from falling 7:04 PM - bear departs, wrap gun around elm tree MIDNIGHT - Home Sunday - Watch Packer game and slowly shred hunting license and back tag; place in envelope and mail to DNR with explicit instructions on where to place it. Stay safe this weekend everyone and best of luck to ya. Send the big ones my way!
Posted on: Thu, 20 Nov 2014 18:14:38 +0000
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