Despite being proud of myself and what I have contributed in this life, it struck me just today how I still have a very subtle feeling of inferiority to most people I come across. Its not at the level of the conscious mind, but something very deep and primal. Its a feeling I suspect many of us share, which is why I am writing. This contradiction has followed me since I was young - despite evidence to the contrary, something deep inside me was afraid that didnt measure up, and this has kept me from asserting myself and putting myself out there. I can trace this back to the age of 5 or 6, and there are reasons I can point to which are out of my control, which I wont discuss here. While I couldnt help my situation back then, I have perpetuated the issue through my tendency (one that I suspect many of us share) to downplay all of my successes, to not celebrate them, to discount them immediately. And at the same time, of course, dwelling on the one or two less positive aspects of my life over and over. No wonder we fear not being competent enough, personable enough, attractive enough etc. when we dont even acknowledge all of the evidence that demonstrates that we all of these in spades, and beat ourselves up over trivialties. Moving forward, I intend to humbly, but enthusiastically recognize and celebrate all my successes, all the good I do, and the change I make in myself and in the world. I hope you will do the same, because you deserve it, and you owe it to yourself. xo Dave
Posted on: Tue, 30 Dec 2014 03:11:50 +0000
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