Do not be fooled by the 80/20 rule where you are expected to be grateful to get 80% of what you want in a relationship. Thats not good enough. The Kingdom promise is exceedingly, abundantly and above all you can think or ask - not 80% of anything. Its 100% or nothing. No, not a perfect person, but the perfect person for you. No, not a life free of challenges but a life free of challenges brought on by you settling. In scripture, Jacob didnt settle for Leah, he went after who he wanted, Rachel (and Rachel wanted him-you should not want somebody who doesnt want you). He and Rachael were amazing together. Jacob would never describe being with Rachael as hard work. It took hard work to get her but being with her was a blessing, she was his good thing, the love of his life. Rachael was equally elated to be with Jacob. They genuinely loved each other and everybody saw it. Real love cannot be hidden. When people tell you that their relationship is a lot of work, listen to them and learn from them. Many are subliminally telling you that they settled. It is not a sin or a crime to settle, its just very evident when people have. A square peg will fit into a round hole if you pound on it, force it, and make it fit but like so many couples who are doing just that, the awkward obviousness of whats been done is clear to all observers. Thank God for your testimony of endurance but dont try to pass it off as happiness. People know happiness when they see it and they know tolerance. Jacob and Rachael were happy. They were not pseudo therapists trying to fix each others brokenness. While couples can emerge from working on their relationships stronger, better and closer, we must never lose sight of the importance of encouraging people to take the time to get whole BEFORE getting into a relationship and if you know you have serious issues, remove yourself from the dating pool. The greater the personal issues in a persons life, the more work is going to be required down the road. Couples who have NOT settled, who are equally yoked and emotionally, psychologically and spiritually healthy (whole) enjoy deep, meaningful, authentically satisfying and loving relationships and will tell you how wonderful it is to be in them. People who HAVE settled will always be telling you how much hard work it is being a couple. Remember, we do not attract what we want, we attract what we are, or what we were at the time we connected. Those who are whole will attract those who are whole; those who are fragmented will attract. . .a lot of work.
Posted on: Thu, 08 Jan 2015 00:21:56 +0000
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