Do you have advice for this parent? Its tremendously hard for me to reach out to you like this, but I need help. Im hoping you and your readership have some advice for me. My 4-year-old daughter has always been on the cranky side, even as a baby. Ive been struggling to parent positively and follow the RIE philosophy despite my own very violent and restrictive upbringing. Unfortunately, I lived what I learned enough to (I believe) model loss of control when Im angry. Since Ive been voraciously reading your posts and the posts of other positive parenting advocates, I have dramatically improved, but the fallout is a wonderful little girl who lashes out and completely loses control when shes upset. Her targets are usually our 2-year-old and our au pair. Both have been bitten, kicked, hit, shoved, and screamed at. Im able now to model self-control and keep my cool, but I fear that the damage has been done. When she loses it and starts screaming, I know she got that directly from watching me do it in the past. Im all about letting her be who she needs to be, but how can I help her to not hurt other people when shes angry, and how can help her to not be SO angry? It hurts her too. I can see the same self-loathing in her that I used to feel when I lost control. What I do now is explain to her what I see her feeling, keep her from physically hurting anyone, and give her a ton of love when she finally lets me. What more can I do? For the record, weve never spanked. Im ashamed to say that I used to be pretty terrifying when I yelled, though. How can I undo this?
Posted on: Thu, 17 Jul 2014 02:15:15 +0000
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