Dont want anyone thinking im rude but from now on when im out im gna have to try avoiding talking about what happened to azaria....im finding it hard to go out cuz im really anxious, especially when shes in the pram...things keep coming back to me even the way we were calling her name in panic, I havnt been round to tescos yet and I cant wear or even look at the snowsuit/babygrow/hat/dummy she had on her...ppl might think thats an over exaggeration but its totally normal to be panicky when I remember the panic I felt and how she felt etc....its not only me but harvey, hes sayin more an more as the days go on about how its affected him, were finding it really hard to relax...its easier at home cuz I can watch her all the tym but wen out shes in the pram and its more difficult cuz if for a slight second I think shes very still I want to check her but I cant make it obvious infront of harvey and I know in my head shes ok but the anxiety takes over, ive nvr been like this in my life and its doubly hard cuz I know its torturin harveys wee mind too but I have to get up and go out like normal etc and ive had strangers come up to us asking is she the wee baby etc and its so lovely and thoughful but until me an harvey are more relaxed I dont want to get into convo about it while out to avoid any more panic attacks....from either of us.....I cant tlk abt it without crying and I think I get worked up incase I cry in public an then im a mess lol thanks ♡♡♡ xxx
Posted on: Fri, 21 Nov 2014 10:46:11 +0000