Dusk! There I was, tidying up my kitchen like an attractive bachelor does. I was about to let fly a heavy sigh at the oppressive tranquility of my secret lair when suddenly like an assassin the the night irony struck! In a flash of silver and pink a wild mouse fell from my cupboard and squeaked at me. "Foolish, handsome human! Now that I have overheard your secrets to infinite energy, I will be off to reproduce a superior race of "Assass-a-rats" and undermine your society! Smoke bomb!" He darted towards a corner with the ferocity of a fat child in pursuit of cake on the horizon. "Not today cheddar-breath!" I cried as I unleashed all of the unholy wrath of Chris Redfield in the form of a hammer first that crashed down upon the mouse like the incredulous hammer of judgement that it is. Smoke clears, furniture crumbles and women weep at the sheer masculinity of my reflexes. The mouse lay vanquished on my counter top. I raise him to my face and whisper "See you in the Nightospere you sick freak" and lay the insidious tyrant to final rest in my garbage can. Then I totes made a killer status about it.
Posted on: Thu, 19 Sep 2013 03:43:41 +0000
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