Eighteen things I have learnt in eighteen years of relationship and marriage from my husband. 1. God must be the foundation of every relationship for it to last. The only reason any relationship will last is because God who is the only sure foundation, the rock upon which to build is the very foundation. 2. Wisdom is required. There are different levels of wisdom to be applied to different aspects of life. There is wisdom for relationships. Until you acquire it, your relationship will experience ups and downs. This wisdom comes from God’s word! 3. Don’t enter a relationship too early Timing is very important. When you enter too early, you may have to leave too early. 4. Allow God to prepare you There will always be a preparatory class. If you allow God, he would have used other people with similar temperament as your fiancé to train you before entering the relationship. 5. Respect and submission are non negotiable. You must be ready and willing to give respect, honour and submission in order to keep your relationship. If you are not ready to learn submission, you are not yet ready for a successful relationship. 6. Never try to change any man. You have not been called to change a fellow human being. You can only influence, which is more powerful. Trying to change the other person is an unfruitful venture. It will frustrate you and frustrate the person you are trying to change. 7. Pray, pray and pray some more. Every relationship has different times and seasons. Seasons of crisis are often not the best time to start praying, its better to have some prayer stored up. You learn how to pray by praying. Don’t be deceived; prayer plays an important role in success. 8. Be willing to make sacrifices. There will be need every now and then to make sacrifices in your relationship. Some are easy while others are very difficult and demanding. 9. You must put on a teachable/meek hat. Be ready to learn and learn some more. Never present an attitude of ‘I know it all already’. Often times God put you in a relationship to learn the things you do not know. 10. You husband or fiancé is giving to you as your head; treat him as such. You need to understand what the head stands for, until you do, you may not see God’s purpose for respecting your husband or fiancé. 11. Get a mentor or be accountable to your pastor. Accountability is to put you in check. It places you under authority. 12. Let go of unrealistic expectations. Some people enter relationships with the idea that it is all about dinners, flowers, ‘tender loving care – TLC’, the guy kissing your feet, beaches etc. All these are good and part of the dividends of marriage, but to think these are the bases for marriage is unrealistic. It’s like building castles in the air. 13. God’s Word – the bible is the ONLY and final authority on the way your relationship is to be handled. Give every day quality time to God’s word. 14. You have a part to play in making a success out of your relationship Even when God’s will is sure, you still have a major part to play. Relationships are made to work; they don’t work automatically. They are in manual mode not automatic mode. 15. Your personal daily spiritual development and growth is essential to the overall success of your relationship. If you don’t have a personal devotion time with God daily, in reading the bible, praying and obeying God, the effect will reflect in your relationship. Your capacity to forgive, love and fulfill your role will be jeopardized. Forgiveness is a cross you MUST carry always in your relationship. 16. Relationship and marriage is where forgiveness is required most. You will offend and hurt each other so much you will wonder, but at the same time you are expected by GOD to forgive as often. Unforgiving spirit is like cancer; it sucks life from your relationship. 17. You must work together as a team. Having a team spirit is to understand that you and your fiancé or spouse are becoming one or already one for married folks. If you rise, you rise together, if you fall you fall together, if you prosper, you equally do so together. Working as a team makes all the difference. You must try to protect each other knowing that what affects one, affects the other. I remember then, when we were still on campus, we will always make sure we both read books that bless us, we don’t want to deprive or hide helpful truth from each other. We sought each other’s spiritual growth and well-being. 18. Love last longer when you both aim at outdoing yourselves in kindness. 1 Corinthians 13 – the Love chapter should be what you aim at in your relationship. There is labour in love, and that labour will have to be much to sustain your relationship. Maturity is actually measured by how much capacity you have to walk in love despite whatever. You will have to keep getting better and keep getting more matured.
Posted on: Wed, 19 Mar 2014 11:40:12 +0000
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