English is a crazy language. Theres no egg in eggplant, no ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple, English muffins weren’t invented in England, nor do French fries come from France. Sweetmeats are candies, sweetbreads aren‘t sweet nor meat. Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square, and guinea pigs are neither from Guinea nor pigs. Writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham. If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, two geese. One moose, two meese? One index, two indices? You can make amends but not an amend? If you get rid of all your odds and ends save one, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? People recite at plays and play at recitals, ship by car and send cargo by ship, and have noses that run but feet that smell. How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? Your house can burn up as it burns down, you fill in a form by filling it out, and alarms go off by going on. When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. How can inflammable and flammable mean the same thing? And when a car slows up, it slows down! Try to sight-read these sentences correctly: A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. After a number of injections my jaw got number. He could lead if he would get the lead out. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? I did not object to the object. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. The bandage was wound around the wound. The buck does funny things when the does are present. The dump was so full that it had to ref use more refuse. The farm was used to produce produce. The insurance was invalid for the invalid. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. The wind was too strong to wind the sail There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row They were too close to the door to close it. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. We must polish the Polish furniture. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. Why doesn’t Buick rhyme with quick?
Posted on: Thu, 18 Sep 2014 19:28:23 +0000
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