Everyday I hope and pray that this tiny helpless life inside me - TopicsExpress

Everyday I hope and pray that this tiny helpless life inside me has one more day, week or month to grow before they are forced to take him out...he doesnt move I freak out, he moves too much will his umbilical cord wrap around his neck? His poor little heart will need a pacemaker and why? Because I have Lupus and it is attacking my baby boy! Why? Why? Why? What did I do wrong? What did my precious baby do to deserve this, why cant I fix it!!!! I am raging inside and dont exactly know where to direct it all! But alas I am the Strong One, so I bury my fears, my emotions and carry on for everyone elses peace of mind cause heaven forbid I admit I need someone...let me scream and let me cry and freak out! Give me something good God please cause Im gonna break soon.

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