Excuses To Give When You Have Missed Work Excuses To Give When You Have Missed Work ~ I cant come in to work today because Ill be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. Okay? ~ I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet... ~ I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant. ~ Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I wont be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, Ill be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling. ~ I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldnt come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information. ~ The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I wont bite things when Im startled. ~ The dog ate my car keys. Were going to hitchhike to the vet. ~ I prefer to remain an enigma. ~ I cant come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation. ~ I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian. ~ I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates. ~ I refuse to travel to my job until there is a commuter tax. I insist on paying my fair share. ~ Ive used up all my sick days...so Im calling in dead! ~ I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly e*log(pi) clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.
Posted on: Thu, 31 Oct 2013 11:07:33 +0000