Expectations Of Coming Home By Others. I believe that people have a certain expectations about Warriors-such as everything is ok once you are home. As long as people believe you are "ok" they do not have to think of the horrors of war and what you have endured. You, the Warrior, will try to live up to those expectations. That would be taking it all in stride, keeping your mouth shut, not talking in specifics about your combat experiences, and of course keeping your cool no matter the situation. Basically after someone asks you, "Are you ok?" and you say I am ok; most people wants that to be the end of it, for you to walk away and there be no discussion of your experiences. However if you begin to talk in depth about your combat experiences they usually stop listening after thirty seconds. But you are ok right? This response means they want this conversation to end. Most civilians want you to hear what THEY have to say about their philosophies about war, and combat; and then go about their way watching reality television and stuffing their faces with cheeseburgers and french fries. I cannot count the times I have went through this scenario. As the anger would well up inside me as I realize the concern was not real as much as their own agenda. It would reinforce the belief that I was an alien coming into a new land. The transition home was not coming home at all. When I came back to my hometown with its brick streets, dutch store fronts and tulip gardens along the streets; I just felt a walker in a distant land. I just wanted to jump up on my roof and yell, "No I am not ok, our country is at war, and you are going to listen!" The subject of killing is a hard one to contemplate, a hard one to grasp when you wonder if you can ever come again at all. Then you do come home and you are the invisible soldier, and whatever you do please stay off the grass. But the job of a combat warrior is to close within the enemy kill them, bring your men home alive and complete the mission no matter what. Our comunities have to change. As a society we expect the governement and the VA to do all the work and that will not get it done. They do not have the means or the personal relationships to make this happen. It takes a transformation for families and friends to be educated on the needs of our fellow Veterans coming home. I was abandoned by my family, I reached out to churches and I was ignored and asked to never come back. Our Veterans cannot be ignored, and they must be embraced. And to my fellow Veterans I would say you must talk, you must develop a team of Veterans. It will help you transition home. It will help in your other relationships in life. Rather than pushing your family and friends away you will learn how to communicate with them. Never quit, never give up. You have too much to offer to not only this nation; but you have such an impact to your friends and families. Start with a local Vet Center. If you cannot find someone you can trust contact me and we will find someone locally for you. Finally I have seen communities change. I have seen churches change as they become educated on the needs of Veterans. We are making a difference. You are not forgotten. I have been retired for over six years now, there were times I wanted to quit but though I be the lone survivor I will complete the mission. The mission is you. You must remember the Ranger Creed and you must make it a continual part of your life. So the Expecations of others really do not matter, what matters is you are true to yourself and that you remember you still have a mission. Its just that the mission is you. Be the man or woman you can be.
Posted on: Tue, 09 Jul 2013 04:48:09 +0000
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